Flashback

Aaron was on the phone with me as he has been several times recently, “What do you think?” was his question. Not too weird…over the years we’ve had lots of heart to heart talks. I’m glad that he feels like I’m someone to whom he can look for Godly counsel. However, this time his question brought memories flooding back…

I remember watching him run out the door to play on the playground with his younger brothers. He was 6 and we’d just become a family. He would swing for hours on the swings and give his little shadows tips on how to make themselves go higher. This particular day I was on the couch, dead tired from the 3 days of non-stop driving we had done to get he and his brother from Illinois. I was trying to nurse Deanna, who was about 6 weeks old, and keep an eye on the boys. A few minutes after he’d run out the door, he came back in screaming bloody murder. Instantly, I was on my feet and moving toward him. He’d thrown himself down on the living room floor with crocodile tears coursing down his cheeks and his hand covering his knee “Hey, buddy!” I’d tried to stem the flow of tears. “It’s not bad. You’re a tough kid. We’ll just wash it off and you’ll be good as new.” He had to think about that for a moment, but in the end decided that he agreed with me that he was a tough kid and stopped crying. We washed it with a clean paper towel and he was on his way out the door again.

At 9, he was starring in the Christian Academy of Chula Vista Christmas Play. He sang and danced his way around the stage in a cowboy hat and boots. I was amazed by his ability to perform in front of people. Unfortunately, this only lasted till the play was over and then he really didn’t ever want to sing in front of people again.

A couple of years later, he was in 6th grade and I was home schooling him except for band, which he took at the nearby middle school. He would ride his bike down the hill from where our house overlooked the neighborhood, across the intersection, up another hill and a mile or more beyond that to the Mesa Hills Middle School. One day, a few minutes after I’d watched him ride down the hill, a car came up the hill and the driver waved me toward her car. She told me that she thought it was my son who’d just been hit by a truck at the bottom of the hill. Needless to say, even in my bare feet, I didn’t hesitate to jump into her car and let her drive me down the hill to where it had happened. It turned out that he had crossed the intersection just as the truck, which had stopped at the stop sign, was just about to turn right and happened to hit him. Other than a bent bicycle wheel and a skinned leg, he was fine --- but a little shook up. He had not made the stop like he should have but had let his momentum from the ride down the hill to shoot him through the intersection. I think I have a few gray hairs from that day.

At 13, he came home from the GNG Middle School (in Maine) one day and challenged the idea that there was a God. I must have sat with him for hours talking with him about God, His existence, His care for Aaron and my desire to see him one day in heaven. I remember it was a little bit like talking to a brick wall. That was one of the incidences that convinced me that I needed to home educate all of our children. I was down on my knees that night praying for him and asking God to reveal Himself to him.

Then he met Stephanie. She was 13 and he was 15 (I think). We went to church with her family and later her family came to live with us. During the 2 years that we lived as a community household, we had many talks with both Aaron and Stephanie about purity, true love, emotional purity, courtship, etc. He and I would talk for hours about his feelings for her sometimes. I encouraged him to keep a journal, which I think he still does.

Aaron loved Math. He flew through Algebra, Geometry and Trig. If he wasn’t reading an assigned book or doing math, he was teaching himself to play the piano or the guitar. I remember him up on the stage with Stephanie. He was playing the guitar and she was playing her violin. He even played for our worship team for a while.

I was so glad of those years he was at home during high school. I know that it may have seemed like he didn’t have all of the opportunities for sports, clubs, orchestra, etc. that he may have had in a public school; but he and I got a chance to bond in a way that we never would have otherwise. I have seen God make up for all of the opportunities that he “lost”. Through our spontaneous conversations about God and His Word and his own soul searching, Aaron has come to know the Lord in a real way. That in itself is more valuable than any extracurricular activity would ever have been.

I remember his graduation. We had a small ceremony in our home for him and I presented him with his diploma. He didn’t want it to be a big deal or anything. I don’t think he really believed that he deserved it. We all gathered around him and prayed for his future decisions and the direction of his life.

Then came the day when his Army recruiter came to pick him up from the house. Ralph and I got up at 4 a.m. to make sure that he had a good breakfast. We both took him into our arms and told him we loved him. I stood at the open door and watched him get into the recruiter’s car and drive away to boot camp. I think I cried after he left.

I was able to go to his boot camp graduation in Georgia. I took a taxi from my hotel onto the base and watched as his platoon marched to the auditorium. After the ceremony, he introduced me to his sergeant. Aaron was so proud of himself for the way that he’d made it through and told me stories about some of the boys who hadn’t while we walked all over the base. I think that he’d finally realized what I knew all along – that he was capable of being the man God wanted him to be.

Over the years that he was away, he would call and we would talk about all kinds of things. He told me his hopes, his fears, his ideas, his plans and his doubts. Looking back, I wish I’d talked to him more often.

Now, after almost 4 years in the Army, 2 of those years being in Korea, he was asking me what I thought about his plan.

“Stephanie and I want to get married this coming December and then go together to Boston so that I can go to college. Do you think it’s too soon?” he inquired.

My glassy-eyed look and hesitation in saying anything threw him for a loop. But here was my little boy talking about getting married. Wow! Time flies!! Was I ready to let go of all those years? Where had the time gone?

There were times that I didn’t spend the time I could have with him; but God helped us to make the moments count, even when it was hard. I know that he and Stephanie will be even better parents than Ralph and I have been. His next question confirmed this: “Mom, do you think that I’ll be able to provide the spiritual and emotional support that she’ll need from a husband?”

“Aaron, I know you will.”

Eph 5:15 – 17 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.