Stress Test

American youth attributes much more importance to arriving at driver's license age than at voting age. ~ Marshall McLuhan

I looked down at my hands wondering why they hurt. My knuckles were white and fingers clenched. As soon as I relaxed my hands, the dull ache went away.

You’d think that after the first four, the fifth would be easier. Not so. I think it’s because each child is an individual; and therefore, each is individual in the way they interpret the rules of the road.

As a home schooling parent, teaching Driver’s Ed as you would any other subject seems natural. Unlike any other subject, however, there are certain risks involved…not the least of which is losing your mind.

Each time I’ve taught driving to one of the kids, it’s been a little like a stress test. How long can I last before I take the keys? Or, maybe more to the point, how long will it be before this one can’t stand me being in the car with them anymore?

We go back and forth and it usually ends with me promising not to freak out every time they hit the brakes or pass another car. I think I’ve finally realized that grabbing the driver’s leg and gasping doesn’t help.

Yesterday, my daughter, Mikayla, got her driver’s permit. When we went to sign her up to take the test, I was sure she wouldn’t pass…or maybe I was praying. I hadn’t seen her study or go over the lessons we’d taught in our curriculum. I thought, “It will be a good lesson.”

So, when my husband, who went with her, texted me and said she had passed. I was surprised. She was thrilled! Her very next communiqué to me was, “Can I drive in the dark?” I’m thinking, “Here we go again!”

I’m not really sure why the Driver’s Ed thing stresses me out so much. My kids are really good drivers. The ones with licenses have good records and our insurance payments are not too bad. They have all breezed through learning to handle a vehicle carefully and have become competent drivers. Mikayla will be the same, I’m sure.

Maybe the driving isn’t the problem so much as it is the growing up. Letting them drive a car is somewhat symbolic of acknowledging that they are now young adults who are capable of pursuing their own dreams --- apart from me.

Maybe it’s because I remember being a driving teenager…and I remember where I went driving…and the close calls I had…ok, let’s not go there.

The next morning I proposed that we go out for breakfast. As expected, Mik wanted to drive. I resigned myself and we started out.

We got on the main road and proceeded through downtown. There were a few “Brake slowly!” and “Watch your speed!” and “Not so fast in that turn!” But otherwise it went pretty well. I didn’t clench my fists and no one could see my lip that I was biting.

She parked without incident and I got out of the car before letting out my breath. Apparently, I had been holding it.

As we ate, I thanked God that our main street and downtown were only eight blocks. I tried not to think about the city driving, freeway driving or out-of-town driving.

We finished breakfast and got back into the car. As we started back home, Mik asked, “So, when can we go driving in El Paso?” I tried not to panic and managed to reply calmly, “Let’s practice here in Van Horn for a while first.”

The Lord and I are getting to be really good friends through each of my “stress tests”. I’m so glad that I have a Friend to hold my hand as I slowly learn to let go of my children…one by one. Each time I let go of a child, I cling to Him harder. And He reminds me that He can take care of them much better than I.

Deanna, my oldest daughter, and I left for El Paso that evening. She already has her driver’s license and promised to drive the two hours into town. Once we hit the city limits, I could feel my blood pressure rising. The Rat Pack in the CD player helped but not completely and I found myself clenching and gasping no matter how hard I tried not to.

After a stop at the theatre, Deanna had pity on me and gave me the keys. With a sigh of relief, I got in and turned the engine over. Seatbelts fastened, I shifted into gear and pressed the accelerator gently, determined to be a good example to my daughter. The car didn’t move. Deanna turned to me, “Mom, the car won’t go if you have it in neutral.”

Gee whiz!! In teaching my kids to drive, the stress had affected my brain! Well, maybe I was just tired. Anyway, with one more to teach to drive, I’d better learn to stress less and trust more. Don’t worry, guys! God and I are working on it!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6