Everything Changes…
Buildings rise..
…fall into disrepair
…get built anew
…or are torn down.
Stone and mortar…
…crumble and crack
…are filled and stacked again
…or wash away with the rain.
But God never changes.
Everything changes…
People come…
…gather together
…move away
…come back.
People change…
…the young grow to adult
…adults have children
…the old pass away.
But God never changes.
Everything changes…
Towns begin…
…business springs up
…it booms and thrives
…then it declines and sleeps.
Corporate vision…
…gets moved along
…great things happen
…or leaders change and the vision dies.
But God never changes.
Everything changes…
Christians…
…cling to the vision of Christ
…press in and grow
…become discouraged and distracted.
Families…
…come to know Christ
…teach their children
…or forget and children suffer and wander
…then return when they hear God calling them.
Because God never changes.
God is always…
…loving us
…forgiving us
…calling us
…hearing us…
God is the same…
…yesterday
…today
…forever.
Everything changes…
…Kingdoms rise and fall
…Churches are built and crumble
…People are born and die
…Faith waxes and wanes.
But God…
…Never changes.
By Sheila Gilmore
@2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Never Too Old to Learn
Never Too Late to Learn
“Let self-education be an integral part of the education of your students.”
Andrew Campbell
The Latin Centered Curriculum
We’ve started another school year in the Gilmore house; and, like each preceding year, this one is different from the last. It seems like each time we start up again, we are starting a whole new routine.
Deanna sat at her desk pouring over her three books laid out on the top. Her pencil was going furiously as she copied, translated and diagramed the Latin sentences from her book. I noticed a couple of new index cards with grammar rules written on them next to the Latin grammar book.
Mikayla was also sitting at her desk with pencil in hand writing figures on her white-board slate. We had just finished our Latin recitation and she was trying to finish up her Math before we did History. Area and Volume were the item of the day and she was thrilled that she was getting it all down pat.
Leilani was hunched over her work space right across from me working on something. When I looked over, I realized that it was a drawing on her Math slate and that she was not doing her Math page as she should have been. She looked up and caught my eye. I gave her one of those what-are-you-doing- looks and she erased her board and went back to her Math.
It was about 10 a.m. and Terence had left for school at the local high school. I’d been up since 7 a.m. so that I could pray with him before he left. I’m still having a hard time with him being at the high school instead of at home. But, there have been some benefits: for instance, he likes his Math teacher and has had an improved attitude about Math recently. We’ll see how it goes and Ralph and I continue to pray that God will protect him in that place.
Adrian is living in Illinois with his mother, Anita, and going to school at a public school there. We keep in touch on MySpace and e-mail and he seems to be doing pretty well. He just told us today that his Video Technology teacher is a Christian and the friends that he has are Christians, too. We can see that God is working to bless him and we’re so thankful. So, he isn’t at home either.
Math papers were done and we did our History timeline recitation and talked a little bit about the first colonies started in the United States and how some of the explorers and colonists were Christians and wanted to win the “Indians” to Christ. Deanna worked busily on her Math as we did our lesson. Occasionally, she would interrupt with a question about the algebra equation she was working.
We took a break and Mikayla and Leilani helped me with our Postcard Wall. We have been putting up all of the postcards that we have collected over the years. They frame a map of the world on which we have stuck pins - different colors to indicate who has been where: blue for Dad, green for Grandma, red for the whole family, etc. It is really interesting to see the pins marking all of the states we’ve visited. This is really a Geography lesson but I’m not going to tell the girls that because they wanted a break from “school”.
We usually do our lessons in Greek earlier, but today they came later because we’d started with Latin instead. Deanna had already been halfway into her Latin exercises when we’d finished breakfast. It’s been really fun learning the Greek alphabet because we can transliterate English words using the Greek letters and it looks like code. We’ve all been having fun getting used to the sounds that way. So, we reviewed our letters and diphthongs and then set about learning some vocabulary and the first verb conjugation. We’re all amazed at how similar it is to Latin.
At lunch time, I set the girls to doing their kitchen chores while I re-heated leftovers from the night before and made a salad. The dogs sat at the edge of the carpet just outside the kitchen and watched us expectantly, hoping to get a few morsels thrown their way. When there is no food involved, they sit under my desk and generally get in the way.
After lunch, we sat on the sofa and I read aloud - the Iliad - while Deanna followed along in her book and the others listened. Agamemnon had just suffered huge losses in his battle with the Trojans and Achilles has refused to fight because Agamemnon had taken Breseis away from him. It’s an exciting story, but a bit difficult to read aloud so I am challenged. Deanna corrects me every now and then when my eyes get faster than my mouth.
Now, it is copy work and recitation from the Bible. Each of them are memorizing a chapter over the next two months - so they have to use their chapter for copying and read it over every day.
When each of them have read some of their verses to me, I open up the computer and select the song that we are learning from the Library. It’s one of my favorites and the girls are really enjoying it, too: Dona Nobis Pacem (Grant us peace). They are learning to sing it in a round and it sounds great.
As so often happens, the day passes by too quickly to get to everything. So, I put the History of Rome and Greek Mythology on the list for tomorrow and send them off to practice their piano. Deanna gets out her Logic and we go over the next lesson and discuss it -- she thinks it is the most boring subject of all.
This year is the most structured of all of our years home schooling. Instead of 5 or 6, I only have 3 at home all day. For me it is quite a change and it is easier to be a bit more structured. However, it is also a testament to what I’ve learned over the years: how to take each subject a little at a time and integrate it with the other subjects. It is amazing the way we get to grow, learn and change with our children and I’ve loved every minute of it.
We’re learning Greek because I want to learn Greek. We are delving into Roman History because I’ve always wanted to learn more about it. We are reading Greek and Roman Mythology because I want to really understand John Milton’s Paradise Lost. We are singing Latin songs because I love learning the music. We’re reading the Illiad because I want to read it (especially after seeing the movie Troy). We will probably do a lot of other things this year because I’ve wanted to do them myself.
I had a very wise friend once tell me “As you learn, bring what you learn to your children. You will learn it even better and they can see that you are learning, too.” I’ve tried to take that to heart and have benefited greatly from it.
Our greatest blessing this year has been that Dad has taken up the call to “teach what you learn and learn what you teach” as well. He read the book Epic by John Eldridge and enjoyed it so much that he read it aloud to us during our family worship times. Even though it was a little over the heads of the younger ones (as is the Illiad), we all enjoyed his reading aloud and it was a welcome change from Mom. We’re looking forward to more teaching of the Word from Dad as we go through this year.
I’m learning more and more that I don’t have to know it all to teach. I just have to have a desire to learn it. As long as I understand it just a little bit more than my children, there is success and we all learn.
Above all, God is blessing us every day with a desire to see things through His eyes. If I can learn anything more, I want to learn to see things the way that He sees them and then teach my children to do that, too.
“Let self-education be an integral part of the education of your students.”
Andrew Campbell
The Latin Centered Curriculum
We’ve started another school year in the Gilmore house; and, like each preceding year, this one is different from the last. It seems like each time we start up again, we are starting a whole new routine.
Deanna sat at her desk pouring over her three books laid out on the top. Her pencil was going furiously as she copied, translated and diagramed the Latin sentences from her book. I noticed a couple of new index cards with grammar rules written on them next to the Latin grammar book.
Mikayla was also sitting at her desk with pencil in hand writing figures on her white-board slate. We had just finished our Latin recitation and she was trying to finish up her Math before we did History. Area and Volume were the item of the day and she was thrilled that she was getting it all down pat.
Leilani was hunched over her work space right across from me working on something. When I looked over, I realized that it was a drawing on her Math slate and that she was not doing her Math page as she should have been. She looked up and caught my eye. I gave her one of those what-are-you-doing- looks and she erased her board and went back to her Math.
It was about 10 a.m. and Terence had left for school at the local high school. I’d been up since 7 a.m. so that I could pray with him before he left. I’m still having a hard time with him being at the high school instead of at home. But, there have been some benefits: for instance, he likes his Math teacher and has had an improved attitude about Math recently. We’ll see how it goes and Ralph and I continue to pray that God will protect him in that place.
Adrian is living in Illinois with his mother, Anita, and going to school at a public school there. We keep in touch on MySpace and e-mail and he seems to be doing pretty well. He just told us today that his Video Technology teacher is a Christian and the friends that he has are Christians, too. We can see that God is working to bless him and we’re so thankful. So, he isn’t at home either.
Math papers were done and we did our History timeline recitation and talked a little bit about the first colonies started in the United States and how some of the explorers and colonists were Christians and wanted to win the “Indians” to Christ. Deanna worked busily on her Math as we did our lesson. Occasionally, she would interrupt with a question about the algebra equation she was working.
We took a break and Mikayla and Leilani helped me with our Postcard Wall. We have been putting up all of the postcards that we have collected over the years. They frame a map of the world on which we have stuck pins - different colors to indicate who has been where: blue for Dad, green for Grandma, red for the whole family, etc. It is really interesting to see the pins marking all of the states we’ve visited. This is really a Geography lesson but I’m not going to tell the girls that because they wanted a break from “school”.
We usually do our lessons in Greek earlier, but today they came later because we’d started with Latin instead. Deanna had already been halfway into her Latin exercises when we’d finished breakfast. It’s been really fun learning the Greek alphabet because we can transliterate English words using the Greek letters and it looks like code. We’ve all been having fun getting used to the sounds that way. So, we reviewed our letters and diphthongs and then set about learning some vocabulary and the first verb conjugation. We’re all amazed at how similar it is to Latin.
At lunch time, I set the girls to doing their kitchen chores while I re-heated leftovers from the night before and made a salad. The dogs sat at the edge of the carpet just outside the kitchen and watched us expectantly, hoping to get a few morsels thrown their way. When there is no food involved, they sit under my desk and generally get in the way.
After lunch, we sat on the sofa and I read aloud - the Iliad - while Deanna followed along in her book and the others listened. Agamemnon had just suffered huge losses in his battle with the Trojans and Achilles has refused to fight because Agamemnon had taken Breseis away from him. It’s an exciting story, but a bit difficult to read aloud so I am challenged. Deanna corrects me every now and then when my eyes get faster than my mouth.
Now, it is copy work and recitation from the Bible. Each of them are memorizing a chapter over the next two months - so they have to use their chapter for copying and read it over every day.
When each of them have read some of their verses to me, I open up the computer and select the song that we are learning from the Library. It’s one of my favorites and the girls are really enjoying it, too: Dona Nobis Pacem (Grant us peace). They are learning to sing it in a round and it sounds great.
As so often happens, the day passes by too quickly to get to everything. So, I put the History of Rome and Greek Mythology on the list for tomorrow and send them off to practice their piano. Deanna gets out her Logic and we go over the next lesson and discuss it -- she thinks it is the most boring subject of all.
This year is the most structured of all of our years home schooling. Instead of 5 or 6, I only have 3 at home all day. For me it is quite a change and it is easier to be a bit more structured. However, it is also a testament to what I’ve learned over the years: how to take each subject a little at a time and integrate it with the other subjects. It is amazing the way we get to grow, learn and change with our children and I’ve loved every minute of it.
We’re learning Greek because I want to learn Greek. We are delving into Roman History because I’ve always wanted to learn more about it. We are reading Greek and Roman Mythology because I want to really understand John Milton’s Paradise Lost. We are singing Latin songs because I love learning the music. We’re reading the Illiad because I want to read it (especially after seeing the movie Troy). We will probably do a lot of other things this year because I’ve wanted to do them myself.
I had a very wise friend once tell me “As you learn, bring what you learn to your children. You will learn it even better and they can see that you are learning, too.” I’ve tried to take that to heart and have benefited greatly from it.
Our greatest blessing this year has been that Dad has taken up the call to “teach what you learn and learn what you teach” as well. He read the book Epic by John Eldridge and enjoyed it so much that he read it aloud to us during our family worship times. Even though it was a little over the heads of the younger ones (as is the Illiad), we all enjoyed his reading aloud and it was a welcome change from Mom. We’re looking forward to more teaching of the Word from Dad as we go through this year.
I’m learning more and more that I don’t have to know it all to teach. I just have to have a desire to learn it. As long as I understand it just a little bit more than my children, there is success and we all learn.
Above all, God is blessing us every day with a desire to see things through His eyes. If I can learn anything more, I want to learn to see things the way that He sees them and then teach my children to do that, too.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Dreams vs. Divine Intervention
It’s funny how a glimpse back into our past can open the flood gates to so many memories. Recently, I ran into some old friends…friends I hadn’t seen in almost 20 years. Suddenly, I find myself reminiscing about that time in my life and feeling more glad every moment that I’m no longer that naïve, selfish, stupid, little girl.
Also, there is that feeling of being older and realizing how much time has gone by between dreaming about growing up and actually doing it. In the midst my feelings of relief at being a totally different person (thanks to the redemption of the Lord in my life), there is also a kind of grief, too… a grief at the loss of so many dreams that did not come to pass.
When I was a young adult, 17 - 20, I dreamed of being an opera singer or a Broadway star. I dreamed of being discovered by a talent scout and given a part in a popular play or movie. Then I dreamed of being a great Ballroom dancer/actor/singer. My life seemed to stretch into an endless panorama of promise and fame.
All of those dreams faded when I got pregnant and decided to keep the baby in the face of those who advised me to get an abortion. I owe my decision primarily to my parents who stood by me even when my husband at the time wanted me to get rid of the baby.
I held my ground, with my parent’s support, and had a beautiful baby boy -- then got post-partum depression, caught my husband in an affair, moved out of our apartment and filed for a divorce. The only thing that kept me going during that time was my darling baby. But, the casualties were my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations, which evaporated like so much smoke in the wind.
Now, looking back over that time, you’d think that I’d have so many regrets…and I do: regrets at not making better decisions about relationships, regrets about burning bridges because of my naiveté, regrets at not following through in the face of a few challenges. However, God, in His infinite mercy, gave me so much more.
Those years were not the end of my trials -- that refining fire that burns away what is wood, hay and stubble -- but only the beginning. I didn’t learn what I needed to learn at that time. I learned a lot, but not all that God had for me.
God is continually bringing people into my life who rock my very core and shape me into who He wants me to be: a church in California full of people who knew how to show God’s love; a mother of 6 who taught me the joys of allowing children to be who they are within our parental boundaries; a family of 4 who took us in when there was “no room at the inn”; a mother of 2 who offered to get a job and help support me during a tough time; a man who showed me true commitment where none had before; two young boys who taught me to love even what is not mine; a troubled teen who taught us to accept people no matter their background; three beautiful baby girls, who taught me the beauty of God’s creation; a family in Maine who taught us how to discipline in love, look to the Word for truth, accept accountability and aspire to excellence in all things; a father/pastor, who taught us to look beyond what we see; a pastor in Amarillo who taught me the true meaning of hypocrisy; some home school families who saw value in all relationships; another pastor and church who demonstrated the refuge and restoration we have in Christ; and I could go on and on.
There have been many others, who have loved, accepted, valued, cared, shaken, stirred and poured out over us according to God’s plan. We have benefited by drawing closer and closer to what God has purposed for us.
In the face of all of these experiences… in the face of all of the orchestration we see in God’s big Symphony, how can I regret that my dreams did not come to fruition? When I was willing to “delight myself in the Lord”, God was true to His promise to give me “the desires of my heart”. He put new dreams into my psyche and rewrote the pages of my longing soul to reflect the eternal purposes He had for my life.
How exciting it is to look ahead! Now, instead of my own dreams, I can say with confidence “God, what are Your dreams for me? What is Your purpose today and tomorrow? How are You going to use my talents next?”
Now, I don’t always remember His redemption and His direction; but, God always finds a way to point me toward the right path -- even if it hurts. I’m so glad that God always keeps His promises and, in particular, His promise to “never leave me nor forsake me”.
Our meeting with my old friends was great. We talked about some of the old times, but we talked more about where we are now. She has such a love for the Lord in her heart and God is really using her life and talents to bless families and couples who need a new interest in their lives. She and her husband have been married for over 18 years (I sang at their wedding), and just that fact blessed me.
Regrets? Yes, but only over how I have responded to God; not about where He has taken me. I’m so glad that I have the family and children that I do. I’m so glad that I have the friends and relationships that I have. I’m so glad that God has continually shown me mercy and grace where I merited none and given me His visions for my life.
Ps. 37:4 - Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Heb. 13:5 - …be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.”
May I continue to learn the lessons that He has and respond the way that He would have me. May I look ahead to the growing up that I still have to do and rejoice that He will do the “tending and watering”.
Also, there is that feeling of being older and realizing how much time has gone by between dreaming about growing up and actually doing it. In the midst my feelings of relief at being a totally different person (thanks to the redemption of the Lord in my life), there is also a kind of grief, too… a grief at the loss of so many dreams that did not come to pass.
When I was a young adult, 17 - 20, I dreamed of being an opera singer or a Broadway star. I dreamed of being discovered by a talent scout and given a part in a popular play or movie. Then I dreamed of being a great Ballroom dancer/actor/singer. My life seemed to stretch into an endless panorama of promise and fame.
All of those dreams faded when I got pregnant and decided to keep the baby in the face of those who advised me to get an abortion. I owe my decision primarily to my parents who stood by me even when my husband at the time wanted me to get rid of the baby.
I held my ground, with my parent’s support, and had a beautiful baby boy -- then got post-partum depression, caught my husband in an affair, moved out of our apartment and filed for a divorce. The only thing that kept me going during that time was my darling baby. But, the casualties were my dreams, my hopes, my aspirations, which evaporated like so much smoke in the wind.
Now, looking back over that time, you’d think that I’d have so many regrets…and I do: regrets at not making better decisions about relationships, regrets about burning bridges because of my naiveté, regrets at not following through in the face of a few challenges. However, God, in His infinite mercy, gave me so much more.
Those years were not the end of my trials -- that refining fire that burns away what is wood, hay and stubble -- but only the beginning. I didn’t learn what I needed to learn at that time. I learned a lot, but not all that God had for me.
God is continually bringing people into my life who rock my very core and shape me into who He wants me to be: a church in California full of people who knew how to show God’s love; a mother of 6 who taught me the joys of allowing children to be who they are within our parental boundaries; a family of 4 who took us in when there was “no room at the inn”; a mother of 2 who offered to get a job and help support me during a tough time; a man who showed me true commitment where none had before; two young boys who taught me to love even what is not mine; a troubled teen who taught us to accept people no matter their background; three beautiful baby girls, who taught me the beauty of God’s creation; a family in Maine who taught us how to discipline in love, look to the Word for truth, accept accountability and aspire to excellence in all things; a father/pastor, who taught us to look beyond what we see; a pastor in Amarillo who taught me the true meaning of hypocrisy; some home school families who saw value in all relationships; another pastor and church who demonstrated the refuge and restoration we have in Christ; and I could go on and on.
There have been many others, who have loved, accepted, valued, cared, shaken, stirred and poured out over us according to God’s plan. We have benefited by drawing closer and closer to what God has purposed for us.
In the face of all of these experiences… in the face of all of the orchestration we see in God’s big Symphony, how can I regret that my dreams did not come to fruition? When I was willing to “delight myself in the Lord”, God was true to His promise to give me “the desires of my heart”. He put new dreams into my psyche and rewrote the pages of my longing soul to reflect the eternal purposes He had for my life.
How exciting it is to look ahead! Now, instead of my own dreams, I can say with confidence “God, what are Your dreams for me? What is Your purpose today and tomorrow? How are You going to use my talents next?”
Now, I don’t always remember His redemption and His direction; but, God always finds a way to point me toward the right path -- even if it hurts. I’m so glad that God always keeps His promises and, in particular, His promise to “never leave me nor forsake me”.
Our meeting with my old friends was great. We talked about some of the old times, but we talked more about where we are now. She has such a love for the Lord in her heart and God is really using her life and talents to bless families and couples who need a new interest in their lives. She and her husband have been married for over 18 years (I sang at their wedding), and just that fact blessed me.
Regrets? Yes, but only over how I have responded to God; not about where He has taken me. I’m so glad that I have the family and children that I do. I’m so glad that I have the friends and relationships that I have. I’m so glad that God has continually shown me mercy and grace where I merited none and given me His visions for my life.
Ps. 37:4 - Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Heb. 13:5 - …be content with such things as ye have; for he hath said “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.”
May I continue to learn the lessons that He has and respond the way that He would have me. May I look ahead to the growing up that I still have to do and rejoice that He will do the “tending and watering”.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Super Woman
I aspire to be Super Woman. Really! I do. I suppose that is why I’m such a Superman fan. I’ve seen all of the episodes of Smallville, all the Superman Movies (including Superman Returns) and a couple of seasons of Lois & Clark. I love how the handsome hero saves the world in every episode and still manages to be a great guy.
I want to do great things and be the best at all of the things that are in my heart to do. I want to be the best wife and mother, the best writer, the best photographer, the best chef, the best teacher, etc. Of course, like most of us, I fail miserably a lot of the time; however, as I heard recently in Meet the Robinsons, “You learn from your failures; successes -- not so much!”
Of course, there are certain things that I don’t even attempt to be the best at -- like house keeping. I’ll never have a Better Homes and Gardens home (at least not until the children have homes of their own). I’ll never be the best at auto mechanics -- I’m lucky I know how to fill the gas tank. I’m sure that there are a host of other things that I’ll never attempt to be the best at; because God did not put them in my heart to do.
Recently, I learned a lot about being Super Woman. Perhaps it was not so much from my own failure, but it sure felt like it. It is times like this that I realize that I’m only Super Woman if I’m allowing God to be in control. Without Him, I am nothing and without His hand on my life, I cannot accomplish much.
Terence called me just as I woke on Saturday morning. My plan was to read my book for a couple of hours and then wake everyone else for breakfast and Saturday chores.
“Hey, bud. What’s up?” I asked casually. I knew he’d been with one of his friends all night and was a bit surprised to hear from him so early.
“Nothin’ much.” he said and then added, “I’m in the hospital.”
“What?!” no longer casual, I could feel myself begin to panic as I imagined all kinds of horrible things. “What happened?”
“Here’s BJ.” he gave as a reply and handed the phone off to his friend, who was with him.
BJ explained that they had been hanging out at the parking lot across from the Dollar General. They’d been skate boarding and messing around and it was about 5:30 a.m. Nothing serious. Just being boys.
Then Terence and his friend, Josue, began wrestling. They were playing around and Josue threw Terence over his shoulder. Terence landed really hard, hit his head on the pavement and blacked out for a few minutes.
BJ stretched him out and made sure that he was breathing and talked to him as he came to. He was able to get up and get some water. He was really dazed, but seemed to be okay -- that is, until a few minutes later when his friends realized that he’d asked the same questions over and over. He wasn’t remembering what they’d told him. They thought Terence was just messing with them and were getting annoyed that he kept asking what happened and why his shoulder hurt so bad.
They drove him home and were planning to just leave him on our porch and let us deal with him. BJ, however, decided to stick around and make sure that he was okay. It was a good thing that he did, too. Terence went in the house and came out almost immediately, shirtless and talking on the phone. He began to just wander down the street.
BJ realized that he wasn’t going to just get better and that something more serious could be wrong. So, he loaded him into his car and took him to the emergency room.
That’s when we got the call. I woke Ralph and we both got dressed to go to the hospital. A few minutes later, Terence called me again. He couldn’t remember if he’d called. Now, I was beginning to panic.
When we got to the ER, we signed the paperwork for a couple of CT scans and consulted with Dr. Jackson. We haven’t seen the inside of a hospital this many times since the kids were little.
Meanwhile, BJ stayed with Terence and patiently answered his questions -- the same ones over and over again. He even recorded Terence’s questions and his answers on his phone so that he could play it back and show Terence what was happening.
Terence kept saying things like “I hope I didn’t forget how to skate board” and “Thanks for sticking with me, BJ” over and over again. It was totally obvious what was important to him. He also kept saying “Did I pick a fight with someone?” and “We were just playing, right?” We could tell that he was concerned that he may have hurt someone or that one of his friends was mad at him. BJ, Ralph and I kept reassuring him over and over again.
Dr. Jackson told us that he had a stage 2 concussion and a torn ACL (one of the muscles that attaches his arm to his shoulder socket). He assured us that Terence’s memory would return, but he might not ever remember the actual accident. He also said that we shouldn’t let him out of the house for at least a week.
On our way home, Terence asked what happened at least 4 times and couldn’t remember even being at the hospital. In a way, it was funny; but it was also very scary. I kept wondering what would happen if he didn’t get any better.
We put him to bed and set a timer for 2 hours so that we could wake him up and check on him. Dr. Jackson said that we had to do that for the next 24 hours and that he needed to come to the clinic in 2 weeks for a check up.
By that evening, thank God, Terence was doing much better. He was remembering what we told him and remembered seeing some of the pictures that we had shown him a couple of hours before. He was still in lots of pain with his shoulder and was not quite himself.
The next day, he was a lot better and we took him to church with us. Of course, Ralph was continually cracking jokes about his memory loss and making him smile. I was just relieved that he was going to be okay.
When things calmed down and I had time to think, my first thought was “Why did I let him stay out with his buddies?” I should have known something might happen. Am I a failure as a parent because he got hurt?
Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who helps me to see the truth about things sometimes. This was one of those times that I had to give the circumstances over to the Lord. There was nothing I could have done -- no way to have prevented it, no way to have minimized it, no way to have predicted it. There was no way I could have changed into my Super Suit and rescued him.
Again, I was reminded that “with God, all things are possible”, but only with God. I can’t be anything special without His help -- I can’t even be what He has called me to be with out Him.
Phillipians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me.
May I learn to give myself over to Him and allow Him to be the Super Man in my life.
I want to do great things and be the best at all of the things that are in my heart to do. I want to be the best wife and mother, the best writer, the best photographer, the best chef, the best teacher, etc. Of course, like most of us, I fail miserably a lot of the time; however, as I heard recently in Meet the Robinsons, “You learn from your failures; successes -- not so much!”
Of course, there are certain things that I don’t even attempt to be the best at -- like house keeping. I’ll never have a Better Homes and Gardens home (at least not until the children have homes of their own). I’ll never be the best at auto mechanics -- I’m lucky I know how to fill the gas tank. I’m sure that there are a host of other things that I’ll never attempt to be the best at; because God did not put them in my heart to do.
Recently, I learned a lot about being Super Woman. Perhaps it was not so much from my own failure, but it sure felt like it. It is times like this that I realize that I’m only Super Woman if I’m allowing God to be in control. Without Him, I am nothing and without His hand on my life, I cannot accomplish much.
Terence called me just as I woke on Saturday morning. My plan was to read my book for a couple of hours and then wake everyone else for breakfast and Saturday chores.
“Hey, bud. What’s up?” I asked casually. I knew he’d been with one of his friends all night and was a bit surprised to hear from him so early.
“Nothin’ much.” he said and then added, “I’m in the hospital.”
“What?!” no longer casual, I could feel myself begin to panic as I imagined all kinds of horrible things. “What happened?”
“Here’s BJ.” he gave as a reply and handed the phone off to his friend, who was with him.
BJ explained that they had been hanging out at the parking lot across from the Dollar General. They’d been skate boarding and messing around and it was about 5:30 a.m. Nothing serious. Just being boys.
Then Terence and his friend, Josue, began wrestling. They were playing around and Josue threw Terence over his shoulder. Terence landed really hard, hit his head on the pavement and blacked out for a few minutes.
BJ stretched him out and made sure that he was breathing and talked to him as he came to. He was able to get up and get some water. He was really dazed, but seemed to be okay -- that is, until a few minutes later when his friends realized that he’d asked the same questions over and over. He wasn’t remembering what they’d told him. They thought Terence was just messing with them and were getting annoyed that he kept asking what happened and why his shoulder hurt so bad.
They drove him home and were planning to just leave him on our porch and let us deal with him. BJ, however, decided to stick around and make sure that he was okay. It was a good thing that he did, too. Terence went in the house and came out almost immediately, shirtless and talking on the phone. He began to just wander down the street.
BJ realized that he wasn’t going to just get better and that something more serious could be wrong. So, he loaded him into his car and took him to the emergency room.
That’s when we got the call. I woke Ralph and we both got dressed to go to the hospital. A few minutes later, Terence called me again. He couldn’t remember if he’d called. Now, I was beginning to panic.
When we got to the ER, we signed the paperwork for a couple of CT scans and consulted with Dr. Jackson. We haven’t seen the inside of a hospital this many times since the kids were little.
Meanwhile, BJ stayed with Terence and patiently answered his questions -- the same ones over and over again. He even recorded Terence’s questions and his answers on his phone so that he could play it back and show Terence what was happening.
Terence kept saying things like “I hope I didn’t forget how to skate board” and “Thanks for sticking with me, BJ” over and over again. It was totally obvious what was important to him. He also kept saying “Did I pick a fight with someone?” and “We were just playing, right?” We could tell that he was concerned that he may have hurt someone or that one of his friends was mad at him. BJ, Ralph and I kept reassuring him over and over again.
Dr. Jackson told us that he had a stage 2 concussion and a torn ACL (one of the muscles that attaches his arm to his shoulder socket). He assured us that Terence’s memory would return, but he might not ever remember the actual accident. He also said that we shouldn’t let him out of the house for at least a week.
On our way home, Terence asked what happened at least 4 times and couldn’t remember even being at the hospital. In a way, it was funny; but it was also very scary. I kept wondering what would happen if he didn’t get any better.
We put him to bed and set a timer for 2 hours so that we could wake him up and check on him. Dr. Jackson said that we had to do that for the next 24 hours and that he needed to come to the clinic in 2 weeks for a check up.
By that evening, thank God, Terence was doing much better. He was remembering what we told him and remembered seeing some of the pictures that we had shown him a couple of hours before. He was still in lots of pain with his shoulder and was not quite himself.
The next day, he was a lot better and we took him to church with us. Of course, Ralph was continually cracking jokes about his memory loss and making him smile. I was just relieved that he was going to be okay.
When things calmed down and I had time to think, my first thought was “Why did I let him stay out with his buddies?” I should have known something might happen. Am I a failure as a parent because he got hurt?
Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband who helps me to see the truth about things sometimes. This was one of those times that I had to give the circumstances over to the Lord. There was nothing I could have done -- no way to have prevented it, no way to have minimized it, no way to have predicted it. There was no way I could have changed into my Super Suit and rescued him.
Again, I was reminded that “with God, all things are possible”, but only with God. I can’t be anything special without His help -- I can’t even be what He has called me to be with out Him.
Phillipians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me.
May I learn to give myself over to Him and allow Him to be the Super Man in my life.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Curriculum or Learning
This year has been a tough year. New house, new town, new friends, new church, new vehicle, and new challenges had all taken their toll on our routine. Sitting at my desk, going over papers and tests, I was frustrated. What had my kids really accomplished this year?! I was trying to do an honest assessment so that I would have a starting point for planning the curriculum that I would use next year. I’m sure you’ve been there. It’s that time of year.
Our West Texas Wildlife project had fizzled and died after my computer crashed and we lost all of the pictures we’d taken. We’d only gotten half way through our Astronomy because we needed more work in Math. The Rosetta Stone Spanish got abandoned in January when my computer crashed again! The kids have been told that they will be doing Math through the Summer in order to get back on track.
The more I worked the more discouraged I became. What had happened?! Why couldn’t I follow through?! I had visions of them being 21 before graduating high school.
I came up for air to look around for the suspiciously quiet ladies and gentlemen in question. Adrian was on his computer working on yet another logo in Adobe Photoshop to go with his skateboarding video he was working on in Windows Movie Maker. Terence was out cleaning out his car that he’d bought and fixed up with the local mechanic. Deanna was at the sewing machine making a purse for her sister out of an old pair of jeans, decorating it with scraps of fabric she’d found in my stash. Mikayla was in the art center up to her eyeballs in acrylics, painting a beautiful picture of summer fantasy flowers. Leilani was at the stove in the kitchen making herself a scrambled egg burrito and salad.
Gradually, I began to relax. So, we didn’t get through all of the curriculum I had planned. Life had happened! Opportunities had arisen that we had seized as they came across our path. The children had gravitated toward learning those things which were important to them, which is good. Besides, we did complete their 2nd year of Latin all the way through with straight As and the kids had all made new friends.
Now, that doesn’t mean that we won’t do Math through the summer, but it does mean that I’ll quit stressing over the curriculum that we didn’t get to this year. There will be time for Astronomy and Spanish next year.
I remembered the baby birds that the kids had been keeping an eye on in the beams of our carport and the horny toad that the boys caught so that the girls could examine him. We’d taken field trips to the Guadalupe Mountains, the Davis Mountains, Balmorea and Las Cruces. Just because we hadn’t finished our photography journal, didn’t mean that we hadn’t learned anything -- it just meant that we didn’t get all of the paper work done.
When the opportunity arose for the girls to do a play with some other home schoolers in Alpine, we took it and they learned the 8 parts of speech in a totally new way. When Terence got the opportunity to work with a mechanic and learn about his own car, he took it and learned a lot. When the boys were given the opportunity to clean out the abandoned pool in front of our house and use it as a makeshift skate park, they took and had a blast. When the girls were given the opportunity to take piano lessons, we jumped in with both feet and they all did well.
What am I stressing about?! Isn’t this what home schooling is all about? Of course, it is! We home school so that we can have flexibility and not be tied to any one curriculum or one subject just for the sake of the “points”. Learning, living, laughing, and loving each other are the real goals.
As I went back to my “assessments”, I was looking at them from a different perspective. The curriculum had been only a starting point toward our real goals and we’d done pretty well with those. There were some places for improvement -- attitudes, responsibility, follow through, showing love to one another -- but those were things that needed more practice that any curriculum could provide.
I began writing down what my children DID learn this year and by the time I’d finished I was surprised at the list. Wow!! Learning had been happening in spite of the paperwork! Yea! Success!! I now had so many ideas for next year that I had to tell myself to slow down. After all, there are only so many hours in a day.
So, as we do Math and Reading through the Summer, I’ll relax and tell my children how proud I am of them and what they have accomplished this past year. I’ll take some time to read aloud to them and plan summer trips and outings. Most of all, I’ll take the time to hug them, discover with them and play with them. That’s what it’s really all about.
Our West Texas Wildlife project had fizzled and died after my computer crashed and we lost all of the pictures we’d taken. We’d only gotten half way through our Astronomy because we needed more work in Math. The Rosetta Stone Spanish got abandoned in January when my computer crashed again! The kids have been told that they will be doing Math through the Summer in order to get back on track.
The more I worked the more discouraged I became. What had happened?! Why couldn’t I follow through?! I had visions of them being 21 before graduating high school.
I came up for air to look around for the suspiciously quiet ladies and gentlemen in question. Adrian was on his computer working on yet another logo in Adobe Photoshop to go with his skateboarding video he was working on in Windows Movie Maker. Terence was out cleaning out his car that he’d bought and fixed up with the local mechanic. Deanna was at the sewing machine making a purse for her sister out of an old pair of jeans, decorating it with scraps of fabric she’d found in my stash. Mikayla was in the art center up to her eyeballs in acrylics, painting a beautiful picture of summer fantasy flowers. Leilani was at the stove in the kitchen making herself a scrambled egg burrito and salad.
Gradually, I began to relax. So, we didn’t get through all of the curriculum I had planned. Life had happened! Opportunities had arisen that we had seized as they came across our path. The children had gravitated toward learning those things which were important to them, which is good. Besides, we did complete their 2nd year of Latin all the way through with straight As and the kids had all made new friends.
Now, that doesn’t mean that we won’t do Math through the summer, but it does mean that I’ll quit stressing over the curriculum that we didn’t get to this year. There will be time for Astronomy and Spanish next year.
I remembered the baby birds that the kids had been keeping an eye on in the beams of our carport and the horny toad that the boys caught so that the girls could examine him. We’d taken field trips to the Guadalupe Mountains, the Davis Mountains, Balmorea and Las Cruces. Just because we hadn’t finished our photography journal, didn’t mean that we hadn’t learned anything -- it just meant that we didn’t get all of the paper work done.
When the opportunity arose for the girls to do a play with some other home schoolers in Alpine, we took it and they learned the 8 parts of speech in a totally new way. When Terence got the opportunity to work with a mechanic and learn about his own car, he took it and learned a lot. When the boys were given the opportunity to clean out the abandoned pool in front of our house and use it as a makeshift skate park, they took and had a blast. When the girls were given the opportunity to take piano lessons, we jumped in with both feet and they all did well.
What am I stressing about?! Isn’t this what home schooling is all about? Of course, it is! We home school so that we can have flexibility and not be tied to any one curriculum or one subject just for the sake of the “points”. Learning, living, laughing, and loving each other are the real goals.
As I went back to my “assessments”, I was looking at them from a different perspective. The curriculum had been only a starting point toward our real goals and we’d done pretty well with those. There were some places for improvement -- attitudes, responsibility, follow through, showing love to one another -- but those were things that needed more practice that any curriculum could provide.
I began writing down what my children DID learn this year and by the time I’d finished I was surprised at the list. Wow!! Learning had been happening in spite of the paperwork! Yea! Success!! I now had so many ideas for next year that I had to tell myself to slow down. After all, there are only so many hours in a day.
So, as we do Math and Reading through the Summer, I’ll relax and tell my children how proud I am of them and what they have accomplished this past year. I’ll take some time to read aloud to them and plan summer trips and outings. Most of all, I’ll take the time to hug them, discover with them and play with them. That’s what it’s really all about.
Summer's End
At Summer’s end, sylvan comrades plan
Their Autumn Rainbow Ball again.
Each Maple dons her glorious gown,
And Pines, their floor of green lay down.
As Autumn noon shines cool and clear,
The height of celebration near,
And so this happy, leafy bower
Splendidly arrayed from toe to tower,
Waves red, orange, gold and green,
And dances in a yellow sheen,
To say farewell to Summer’s heat,
And lay their treasures at Winter’s feet.
Their Autumn Rainbow Ball again.
Each Maple dons her glorious gown,
And Pines, their floor of green lay down.
As Autumn noon shines cool and clear,
The height of celebration near,
And so this happy, leafy bower
Splendidly arrayed from toe to tower,
Waves red, orange, gold and green,
And dances in a yellow sheen,
To say farewell to Summer’s heat,
And lay their treasures at Winter’s feet.
Working Cowboy
Desert daze…
Lazy haze…
Rising from the heated ground.
Reddened sand…
Dusty land…
Thorns and cactus all around.
Walking slow…
Bending low…
Sweat trickles down my brow.
Searching here…
Looking there…
We have to find him now.
Broken fence…
Bushes dense…
Water’s very rare.
Stupid steer…
Cowboy career…
Right now it’s hard to care.
Squinting eyes…
Scanning skies…
Swinging up on trusty horse.
Footing sure…
Seat secure…
I let him follow his own course.
Cresting ridge…
Crossing bridge…
The river bed is dry.
Circling ‘round…
Quarry found…
The sun is not yet high.
Shaking rope…
Easy lope…
A loop around his neck.
Turning back…
Giving slack…
Avoiding any wreck.
Walking quick…
Mesquite thick…
We reach his normal place.
Mending wire…
Fingers tire…
The sun and I will race.
Another chore…
Many more…
The work is never done.
Mounting up…
Shouting “giddiup!”…
We’ll go find the other one.
Ending day…
Happy play…
Sun setting in the west.
Today flew…
Tomorrow, too…
We’ll do our very best.
Lazy haze…
Rising from the heated ground.
Reddened sand…
Dusty land…
Thorns and cactus all around.
Walking slow…
Bending low…
Sweat trickles down my brow.
Searching here…
Looking there…
We have to find him now.
Broken fence…
Bushes dense…
Water’s very rare.
Stupid steer…
Cowboy career…
Right now it’s hard to care.
Squinting eyes…
Scanning skies…
Swinging up on trusty horse.
Footing sure…
Seat secure…
I let him follow his own course.
Cresting ridge…
Crossing bridge…
The river bed is dry.
Circling ‘round…
Quarry found…
The sun is not yet high.
Shaking rope…
Easy lope…
A loop around his neck.
Turning back…
Giving slack…
Avoiding any wreck.
Walking quick…
Mesquite thick…
We reach his normal place.
Mending wire…
Fingers tire…
The sun and I will race.
Another chore…
Many more…
The work is never done.
Mounting up…
Shouting “giddiup!”…
We’ll go find the other one.
Ending day…
Happy play…
Sun setting in the west.
Today flew…
Tomorrow, too…
We’ll do our very best.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Hope in the Lord
“Motherhood is very sweet…but very terrible.” Anne of Ingleside by L.M. Montgomery
“I don’t care. I’ve stopped caring about you and what you want. I just don’t care anymore.” Adrian and I had gone around and around again over the last couple of months. This was just the latest in his assertions to me. Granted, my communications to him had not been perfect either, but this was a low blow.
“I haven’t asked you to care. I’ve asked you to get your school work done. The rest is between you and God.” I looked cool and unconcerned on the outside, but on the inside I was dying. My heart was being wrenched out of my chest and the tears of my inner soul were flowing hard and fast.
“I might just become an atheist!” he told me with a hard look.
“I guess that is between you and God, too.” I was determined not to let him see what I was really feeling even though I was crumpling with failure.
Over the next couple of weeks, some of these phrases would be repeated each time he was held accountable for something (ie. cleaning his room, using a mean tone of voice, not completing his assignments, neglecting his chores, or speaking disrespectfully) or pushing my buttons when I was angry. Others were added to them, like “I’m never going to be good enough for you guys,” or “I know you don’t love me and never did!” Each time, I wondered ‘God!! Where are You?! Please do something!’
At night, when my mind was quiet and I allowed it to wander, I would try to remember where I went wrong. Was there something that I had done to make his heart this hard? Where had I failed?
I remembered a time when he was about 10 years old. I was up to my neck in what seemed like a lot of work at the time and I was fed up with his constant questioning and following me from room to room insisting that I look at this or listen to that. I had snapped and shouted for him to quit following me like a little puppy! He had only wanted some affirmation. Why had I not given it? Why had I been so selfish?
I remembered times, when he was younger, coming up to me and asking to be hugged. Usually he would ask at those times when I was up to my elbows in dishes or dinner preparation or some other work and I would be impatient and sometimes refuse to hug him. He had needed those hugs! He had needed my love and my tenderness. Now, he will not accept my hugs and refuses to give any. Why had I not seen it? Why hadn’t I given him what he needed?
My heart and mind cried out, just like King David, ‘God! Why have You forgotten me?! Where are you when I need you the most?!’
Then…one morning…
We were sitting around the dining room table. I had wrestled everyone out of bed as I do each school morning. Trying to get everyone up and started on the day is like pulling teeth most of the time. No matter how early we go to bed the night before, it seems that everyone but me has a hard time getting up in the morning.
The boys were getting started on their rowdy renditions of the adventures in skateboarding that they had had the night before. Adrian in particular is very entertaining. The girls were all listening in rapt attention as the two of then related the silly quotes of their friends and the soap opera sagas of the ‘public school’ community in which these friends were involved.
I opened my Bible to Psalms and selected one at random. Just as I was about to read, Adrian reached over and closed my Bible. He was just kidding with me. He and Terence wanted to tell one last joke or something. I told him to find the Psalm again for me since he had lost my place.
“Which one was it?” he asked.
“Psalm 42.” I had glanced at the number just before he closed it.
“Will you just read aloud to us today?” he asked. I usually have each one of them read a few verses from their own Bibles.
After a few minutes, I said, “Okay!! Let’s get started. Everyone listen.” And I began reading the Psalm.
It was just as if God were telling me exactly what I needed to hear. In this Psalm, David is crying out to God regarding his frustration with his enemies. He says “God!! Where are you?! I feel like you aren’t doing anything or answering my prayers!!”
Then he remembers that what God is doing has nothing to do with how he feels and more to do with his choice. He then says, “Why are you so depressed, Soul? Why are you worried? Put your hope in God!! For I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God!”
It reminded me of the song by Barlow Girl: “Never Alone”, where she admits that she can’t see or understand what God is doing and it seems like He is not there, but she makes the decision to put her faith in what she knows rather that what she feels. She realizes that God is there whether she feels him or not.
I was also reminded of the song by Jeremy Camp: “I Still Believe”, where he chooses to continue believing in the Lord even though it seems like the world is falling apart around him.
After reading, we discussed what was being said. The boys both had some good things to contribute about how our culture today is ruled by how we (as a society) feel rather than what we know to be right or our faith. We even talked about how loving someone is a choice rather than a “warm fuzzy” and how putting our trust in God even when we don’t feel Him there is always a better choice.
Later, I realized that God had shown Himself to me at a time when I had been wondering if He was around. He is the one who picked the Psalm – reassuring me that I can put my hope in Him even when I don’t see or feel Him. It was just what I needed to hear.
Yes, I’ve made some mistakes as a parent, but God is still in control. I may not see Him working in Adrian’s life or feel Him guiding my own, but He is there and He is still “working all things together for good” whether I see Him or not. He can and will fill in the gaps. All I have to do is put my hope in God and trust that He has the best plan.
Now the question is “Will I follow my feelings or will I choose hope, life and faith in Him Who is able?”
“I don’t care. I’ve stopped caring about you and what you want. I just don’t care anymore.” Adrian and I had gone around and around again over the last couple of months. This was just the latest in his assertions to me. Granted, my communications to him had not been perfect either, but this was a low blow.
“I haven’t asked you to care. I’ve asked you to get your school work done. The rest is between you and God.” I looked cool and unconcerned on the outside, but on the inside I was dying. My heart was being wrenched out of my chest and the tears of my inner soul were flowing hard and fast.
“I might just become an atheist!” he told me with a hard look.
“I guess that is between you and God, too.” I was determined not to let him see what I was really feeling even though I was crumpling with failure.
Over the next couple of weeks, some of these phrases would be repeated each time he was held accountable for something (ie. cleaning his room, using a mean tone of voice, not completing his assignments, neglecting his chores, or speaking disrespectfully) or pushing my buttons when I was angry. Others were added to them, like “I’m never going to be good enough for you guys,” or “I know you don’t love me and never did!” Each time, I wondered ‘God!! Where are You?! Please do something!’
At night, when my mind was quiet and I allowed it to wander, I would try to remember where I went wrong. Was there something that I had done to make his heart this hard? Where had I failed?
I remembered a time when he was about 10 years old. I was up to my neck in what seemed like a lot of work at the time and I was fed up with his constant questioning and following me from room to room insisting that I look at this or listen to that. I had snapped and shouted for him to quit following me like a little puppy! He had only wanted some affirmation. Why had I not given it? Why had I been so selfish?
I remembered times, when he was younger, coming up to me and asking to be hugged. Usually he would ask at those times when I was up to my elbows in dishes or dinner preparation or some other work and I would be impatient and sometimes refuse to hug him. He had needed those hugs! He had needed my love and my tenderness. Now, he will not accept my hugs and refuses to give any. Why had I not seen it? Why hadn’t I given him what he needed?
My heart and mind cried out, just like King David, ‘God! Why have You forgotten me?! Where are you when I need you the most?!’
Then…one morning…
We were sitting around the dining room table. I had wrestled everyone out of bed as I do each school morning. Trying to get everyone up and started on the day is like pulling teeth most of the time. No matter how early we go to bed the night before, it seems that everyone but me has a hard time getting up in the morning.
The boys were getting started on their rowdy renditions of the adventures in skateboarding that they had had the night before. Adrian in particular is very entertaining. The girls were all listening in rapt attention as the two of then related the silly quotes of their friends and the soap opera sagas of the ‘public school’ community in which these friends were involved.
I opened my Bible to Psalms and selected one at random. Just as I was about to read, Adrian reached over and closed my Bible. He was just kidding with me. He and Terence wanted to tell one last joke or something. I told him to find the Psalm again for me since he had lost my place.
“Which one was it?” he asked.
“Psalm 42.” I had glanced at the number just before he closed it.
“Will you just read aloud to us today?” he asked. I usually have each one of them read a few verses from their own Bibles.
After a few minutes, I said, “Okay!! Let’s get started. Everyone listen.” And I began reading the Psalm.
It was just as if God were telling me exactly what I needed to hear. In this Psalm, David is crying out to God regarding his frustration with his enemies. He says “God!! Where are you?! I feel like you aren’t doing anything or answering my prayers!!”
Then he remembers that what God is doing has nothing to do with how he feels and more to do with his choice. He then says, “Why are you so depressed, Soul? Why are you worried? Put your hope in God!! For I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God!”
It reminded me of the song by Barlow Girl: “Never Alone”, where she admits that she can’t see or understand what God is doing and it seems like He is not there, but she makes the decision to put her faith in what she knows rather that what she feels. She realizes that God is there whether she feels him or not.
I was also reminded of the song by Jeremy Camp: “I Still Believe”, where he chooses to continue believing in the Lord even though it seems like the world is falling apart around him.
After reading, we discussed what was being said. The boys both had some good things to contribute about how our culture today is ruled by how we (as a society) feel rather than what we know to be right or our faith. We even talked about how loving someone is a choice rather than a “warm fuzzy” and how putting our trust in God even when we don’t feel Him there is always a better choice.
Later, I realized that God had shown Himself to me at a time when I had been wondering if He was around. He is the one who picked the Psalm – reassuring me that I can put my hope in Him even when I don’t see or feel Him. It was just what I needed to hear.
Yes, I’ve made some mistakes as a parent, but God is still in control. I may not see Him working in Adrian’s life or feel Him guiding my own, but He is there and He is still “working all things together for good” whether I see Him or not. He can and will fill in the gaps. All I have to do is put my hope in God and trust that He has the best plan.
Now the question is “Will I follow my feelings or will I choose hope, life and faith in Him Who is able?”
Destination 3
Next, we drove to Israel. The drive wasn’t that long, but all the security and stuff took a little bit of time. Once we were past all that, we went straight to a trail called David’s Waterfall. It is believed that that was where David hid from Saul in the wilderness.
At the beginning of the trail, we almost walked into an Ibex herd. (A type of deer that looks like an antelope.) The moment one of us spotted them, all the cameras flew into action. Only after everyone had taken a picture did we continue on with the trail.
A little further down the trail we came to a small pool of water. There were school kids in their shorts playing in the water and some closer to the water’s source: a mini waterfall.
The trail was so beautiful! Again, I wanted to live there for the rest of my life. The water was fresh except where the animals had been in and out. There were perfect places for my project “live out”. The only problem was that I had family to get back to and friends who would hunt me down to see the pictures.
On we went toward the main waterfall that was supposedly David’s. It was huge! It seemed that the water had come from miles away just so we could see it. I wanted to go and dive in but it was blocked off. All I could do was watch in amazement and wonder.
On the way back, I went ahead and found the perfect place to wait for my Grandma. It was a small rock that went half into the water. I was sitting on the part that was out of the water when some teenagers came by. One of then said something to me. He spoke in Arabic so I asked if any of them spoke English. One did. It was the girl in the small group of teens.
She told me that her brother had warned me not to fall in. I was embarrassed and told her I would try not to. Just after they left, my Grandma came from around the corner. I got up, jumped the little trickle in my way, and we went on.
When we got back to the beginning, I wanted to go back with my book and read in my spot – but, of course, not enough time. We needed to make it on time to our next tour stop. We all regrouped and loaded the bus once more.
The Garden. Our next and last stop was the Garden of Gethsemane. This is also known as the place were Jesus brought his disciples, and prayed. He prayed to the Father asking if there was some other way to save everyone from sin. If you’ve read the Bible, then you know what God told Jesus.
When we got there, there were already some other groups from China, Mexico, and other countries. I could tell because of the languages. Of course, some of the languages I didn’t recognize. We had to wait in line for a little bit. Than we all prayed and entered the garden.
Inside there were olive trees everywhere and a dirt path leading around the whole thing. I felt happier than ever in this place. (Don’t ask me why I was happy, of all things.) Grandma reminded me to stay quiet because some people were praying and reading their Bibles. We decided to pray, too.
After we were done praying, we went over to the guide. He was holding a basket and asked us to give the gatekeeper a tip for allowing us all in. We did and when we all regrouped, we left the garden and went back to the hotel to pack up for the last time.
The Airport. Saying good-bye to all our new friends. Boarding the plane. Landing in the U.S.A. Going to my Grandma’s to spend the night. Heading back home again. What a trip! It’s one that I’ll remember forever.
At the beginning of the trail, we almost walked into an Ibex herd. (A type of deer that looks like an antelope.) The moment one of us spotted them, all the cameras flew into action. Only after everyone had taken a picture did we continue on with the trail.
A little further down the trail we came to a small pool of water. There were school kids in their shorts playing in the water and some closer to the water’s source: a mini waterfall.
The trail was so beautiful! Again, I wanted to live there for the rest of my life. The water was fresh except where the animals had been in and out. There were perfect places for my project “live out”. The only problem was that I had family to get back to and friends who would hunt me down to see the pictures.
On we went toward the main waterfall that was supposedly David’s. It was huge! It seemed that the water had come from miles away just so we could see it. I wanted to go and dive in but it was blocked off. All I could do was watch in amazement and wonder.
On the way back, I went ahead and found the perfect place to wait for my Grandma. It was a small rock that went half into the water. I was sitting on the part that was out of the water when some teenagers came by. One of then said something to me. He spoke in Arabic so I asked if any of them spoke English. One did. It was the girl in the small group of teens.
She told me that her brother had warned me not to fall in. I was embarrassed and told her I would try not to. Just after they left, my Grandma came from around the corner. I got up, jumped the little trickle in my way, and we went on.
When we got back to the beginning, I wanted to go back with my book and read in my spot – but, of course, not enough time. We needed to make it on time to our next tour stop. We all regrouped and loaded the bus once more.
The Garden. Our next and last stop was the Garden of Gethsemane. This is also known as the place were Jesus brought his disciples, and prayed. He prayed to the Father asking if there was some other way to save everyone from sin. If you’ve read the Bible, then you know what God told Jesus.
When we got there, there were already some other groups from China, Mexico, and other countries. I could tell because of the languages. Of course, some of the languages I didn’t recognize. We had to wait in line for a little bit. Than we all prayed and entered the garden.
Inside there were olive trees everywhere and a dirt path leading around the whole thing. I felt happier than ever in this place. (Don’t ask me why I was happy, of all things.) Grandma reminded me to stay quiet because some people were praying and reading their Bibles. We decided to pray, too.
After we were done praying, we went over to the guide. He was holding a basket and asked us to give the gatekeeper a tip for allowing us all in. We did and when we all regrouped, we left the garden and went back to the hotel to pack up for the last time.
The Airport. Saying good-bye to all our new friends. Boarding the plane. Landing in the U.S.A. Going to my Grandma’s to spend the night. Heading back home again. What a trip! It’s one that I’ll remember forever.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Destination #2: Jordan
In the bus everyone was restless and wanting to move around, as was I. The thing was that we were all driving to Jordan; stopping only a few times for the bathroom. It was a beautiful place and I wanted to live there forever, maybe as a cave woman or something like that.
El Dan, Jordan. First things first. We went to the hotel to drop off our luggage. Then we went to one of the trails called El Dan. As we walked to the trail, I was mesmerized by all the different things there were that would make great pics.
The trail was wonderful! It was full of life, and not one stone was man made or put there on purpose. The trees were very large and squiggly; some went in loopty loops all the way up. The bushes were also beautiful; overflowing with flowers and colorful leaves.
As we passed the beginning of the trail, we needed to cross a bridge. Under the bridge, there was a glorious waterfall. It was not a large one, but still just as beautiful. Almost everyone wanted a snapshot. We moved on and to our right there was a small river called the River Dan, which later joins the River Jordan.
The further we moved into the forest the more I wanted to live there. (My grandma probably got annoyed because I kept telling her I wanted to convert into a tree dweller for the rest of my life.) In our group, some people were walking faster than others and some slower. Grandma and I were in the middle. It seemed that we were all alone, because we couldn’t see any one in front of us or behind.
Since the guide was in the front of the group, we couldn’t get any info as we walked. But, what I do know is that the trail passes within ½ a mile of Lebanon, (the country above Jordan.) We could see the small villages across the border.
We moved on and finally got to the ruins of a village. I wanted to keep moving but the guide had to give a speech; telling us where the villagers came from and how they built the houses, etc. Then we were able to move on to the end. I really wanted to go back and do it again but we had other things to do. I think one of these days I’m going to go back and stay there for as long as I can.
As we drove to the next part of our tour, I was getting a little drained from the days of touring and moving around all the time. Looking at the schedule I saw there was a day coming up that we were going to be able to rest from lunch on. I couldn’t wait till that day came.
The Siq and Petra.. We were walking through the Siq (another common tour place) when near the end there were some ruins (Petra). I turned to our guide and asked what they were. He told me to wait and he would explain that to us all. After a little bit of waiting, he told us the story of the Castle Bent.
Once upon a time there was a king, and his daughter. The princess was very beautiful and it seemed that every man in the kingdom wanted her for a bride. One day, a wealthy prince came to ask for the princess’ hand in marriage. The king was enraged!
Yelling at the Prince, the King told him “ All you men want is my wonderful kingdom, and not the love of my daughter. Be gone with you, and never come back!”
The prince was heartbroken. Instead of marrying the woman who was his true love and whom the Prince had seen only once, he was sent home with nothing.
The king was so frustrated with all the men coming around asking to marry his only daughter that he took all his best craftsmen and built her a castle. The castle was not a large one but of good size and strength. The Princess was locked in the castle with all of her servants. Guards were appointed to watch over her day and night. Only the king was allowed in and out.
The King died without giving his daughter in marriage. The new Queen (his daughter) tried to rule, but only failed in the attempt. Soon, the whole kingdom was overruled and destroyed. The Queen was captured and held until her death; not a painful death but one of natural causes.
In the end, the King had lost everything that he had attempted to keep.
After the story, I was spellbound. The only thing on my mind was that I wished my dad would build me a castle. Then we took a few pics and went off to a lunch nearby.
El Dan, Jordan. First things first. We went to the hotel to drop off our luggage. Then we went to one of the trails called El Dan. As we walked to the trail, I was mesmerized by all the different things there were that would make great pics.
The trail was wonderful! It was full of life, and not one stone was man made or put there on purpose. The trees were very large and squiggly; some went in loopty loops all the way up. The bushes were also beautiful; overflowing with flowers and colorful leaves.
As we passed the beginning of the trail, we needed to cross a bridge. Under the bridge, there was a glorious waterfall. It was not a large one, but still just as beautiful. Almost everyone wanted a snapshot. We moved on and to our right there was a small river called the River Dan, which later joins the River Jordan.
The further we moved into the forest the more I wanted to live there. (My grandma probably got annoyed because I kept telling her I wanted to convert into a tree dweller for the rest of my life.) In our group, some people were walking faster than others and some slower. Grandma and I were in the middle. It seemed that we were all alone, because we couldn’t see any one in front of us or behind.
Since the guide was in the front of the group, we couldn’t get any info as we walked. But, what I do know is that the trail passes within ½ a mile of Lebanon, (the country above Jordan.) We could see the small villages across the border.
We moved on and finally got to the ruins of a village. I wanted to keep moving but the guide had to give a speech; telling us where the villagers came from and how they built the houses, etc. Then we were able to move on to the end. I really wanted to go back and do it again but we had other things to do. I think one of these days I’m going to go back and stay there for as long as I can.
As we drove to the next part of our tour, I was getting a little drained from the days of touring and moving around all the time. Looking at the schedule I saw there was a day coming up that we were going to be able to rest from lunch on. I couldn’t wait till that day came.
The Siq and Petra.. We were walking through the Siq (another common tour place) when near the end there were some ruins (Petra). I turned to our guide and asked what they were. He told me to wait and he would explain that to us all. After a little bit of waiting, he told us the story of the Castle Bent.
Once upon a time there was a king, and his daughter. The princess was very beautiful and it seemed that every man in the kingdom wanted her for a bride. One day, a wealthy prince came to ask for the princess’ hand in marriage. The king was enraged!
Yelling at the Prince, the King told him “ All you men want is my wonderful kingdom, and not the love of my daughter. Be gone with you, and never come back!”
The prince was heartbroken. Instead of marrying the woman who was his true love and whom the Prince had seen only once, he was sent home with nothing.
The king was so frustrated with all the men coming around asking to marry his only daughter that he took all his best craftsmen and built her a castle. The castle was not a large one but of good size and strength. The Princess was locked in the castle with all of her servants. Guards were appointed to watch over her day and night. Only the king was allowed in and out.
The King died without giving his daughter in marriage. The new Queen (his daughter) tried to rule, but only failed in the attempt. Soon, the whole kingdom was overruled and destroyed. The Queen was captured and held until her death; not a painful death but one of natural causes.
In the end, the King had lost everything that he had attempted to keep.
After the story, I was spellbound. The only thing on my mind was that I wished my dad would build me a castle. Then we took a few pics and went off to a lunch nearby.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Holy Land Trip by Deanna
Destination 1. Egypt
I’m going to begin my story at Kairo, Egypt, where I got to see one of the great wonders of the world . . .
As we stepped off the plane, I began to think about how long ago my grandmother and I thought about this trip, and how long we had waited to get here. I also remembered my family and friends telling me that if I didn’t take pictures they would strangle me and hang me by my toes in the town square. Of course, they are all Christian people so I doubt they would carry that out.
Kairo, Egypt. We were walking out of the small airport with our luggage in hand when we saw them, blending together beautifully with the darkness, the lights of the city Kairo. We found our guide and the bus, loaded our luggage, then set off for the hotel.
The traffic was horrible! Everywhere you looked people were jammed together and not even using the lines on the road. It took us 45 minutes to get to our hotel, which was only 20 miles away. At first glance, you might think these people don’t care. Actually, it seemed like they never have to worry about murders, thieves or traffic accidents like we do all the time. This might be because there is a grave consequence for each crime…like losing a hand for theft or a head for murder. Anyway, we finally got to our hotel and settled down for a good night’s sleep.
The Pyramids. The following morning we were heading out to see the pyramids of an official and his wives. When we got there many tourists were gathered around to see the tomb and the Sphinx. The moment I saw both of these great wonders, I felt all the excitement was about to burst out of me all at once. I was hardly listening to the guide until he said we might be able to go inside one of them for a look at the actual tomb. I couldn’t believe my ears!
When my grandma asked if I wanted to go inside, I couldn’t control myself. I flung my arms around her neck. With a big hug, I said yes over and over just to let out my excitement (somewhat). Half the fun was that I would be able to brag about it when I got home.
After we got our tickets, we headed for the line of people near the tunnel entrance. We were in the front of the line before you could say “pyramids”. The ticket master ripped our tickets in half and gave them back. I stuck my two halves into my pocket, took a deep breath, then entered the shaft toward the tomb.
Inside it looked like a coal mine. On the ground there were boards with notches in them for grip. The air was so stale you could hardly breathe, and the deeper you went the worse it got. The shaft was so small that we had to crouch, to move through it at all. We went up, then down, then up again. The walk took only 5 minutes but it seemed like forever.
Finally, we walked into a larger room at least 20 times bigger than the shaft. On one side of the room there was a large tomb with the top taken off and leaning on the wall. I went over to look in side, with grandma following behind me.
When I got over there, trying to lighten up the mood, I pretended to die and fall into the stone box. One of the people from our group told me not to touch the tomb.
When I asked why he said that one of their myths was that if you touched the tomb, then you would be the next to die. I took my gaze from the stone to look at his face. As I suspected he had a very large grin about 2 feet wide. In the dim light, I felt uneasy. He looked scary without his hat on. He probably took it off because he is sweating. We all are. I thought as I looked away.
After a few moments of silence, I urged everyone in our group toward the exit. It was getting really hard to breathe. When we were walking back, I kept hitting my head on the ceiling. I guess it was because I was anxious to get fresh air. When we got out, the first thing you could hear was everyone breathing deeply. The second was the people shouting, laughing, and screaming.
The Sphinx. We all made our way back to the bus to see the Sphinx just around the bend. We didn’t have time to stop. So, the guide told the driver to slow down so that we could take pictures.
It was beautiful, even if it was old. My grandma gave me the camera because it was on my side of the bus. The sun was going down, blinding my sight, so I was shooting blind. (Later the photos turned out to be pretty good.) After everyone found his or her seats again, we headed off to the hotel. The rest of the night would be ours to do as we please.
Mt. Sinai. The next night at dinner the guide told those of us who wanted to go to Mt. Sinai that we had to get up at midnight and be at the bus stop. He also said that we would need to put on every scrap of clothing that we could. It would be cold. That night Grandma and I decided to go to bed early so we could get some rest before we had to get up again.
I woke up to the phone ringing off the hook. Of course, it was the wake up call. Grandma answered it and then hung up. As I started to wake up completely, I realized that Grandma was already up and mostly dressed. Fighting drowsiness and sleep, I yanked myself out of the warm covers and started to pull on some clothes. Scarves, hats, gloves - everything went on.
After we were done dressing, we walked over to the bus stop. No one was there - not even the bus. Thinking we were early Grandma checked the time. We were, by about 10 minutes. So, we decided to sit on the curb and wait for the others.
Finally, the bus and the others came and we loaded up. When we all got to the entrance of trail going up the mountain, it was very crowded with people who had come to see the sunrise from the top. We made our way to the line and began our waiting to enter the trail. When we got to the front of the line, there was a security metal detector and 3 guards. We had to go through one by one.
After we regrouped, we headed for the trail up Mt. Sinai. We had walked ½ a mile when we passed the monastery of St. Catharine. We had walked another ½ mile when we reached the stables for the camels. We paid for the rides, and got on the camels. We were all separated the whole ride up but we all knew where to meet.
Riding the camels was quite an experience. They are not the same as horses. But, they made our trip to the top of the mountain much easier. We could only go so far with the camels and then we had to leave them and walk the rest of the way. We weren’t going to ride them down because we had been told that it was much harder riding down than up.
After maybe 10 minutes of waiting, we headed to the top as a group. In the black darkness of early morning, we climbed with nothing more than a flashlight to guide our way. A few steep steps, a couple turns and we were at the top. Everyone split up to find a spot in the crowd to watch the sunrise.
It seemed like forever before it even seemed to get brighter. I was looking beyond the horizon wondering if this would be like all the other sunrises I’ve seen. Soon my question was answered. I kept looking beyond the mountains where I expected to see the rising sun. The sun was coming and we could tell as the sky got redder.
Just at the moment I least expected it, the sun came into view. It was not where I thought it would be. It seemed to come up in between the mountains; not on the other side. Everyone was trying to get pics as the sun rose within seconds.
In the end, everyone was satisfied. Our group met up at one of the shops and the guide brought all of us some cocoa or some coffee. I need to tell you the cocoa probably tasted just like the stuff at home but at the time it was the most delicious cocoa in the whole world!
We decided we would meet at the monastery at the bottom of the large mountain. Grandma and I tried to set off at a jog but the line of people seemed not to move at all. As soon as the road got bigger and had more traction, Grandma and I were passing everyone. When we met up at the bottom and loaded the bus, all of us let out a sigh of relief. It had been a long and exhausting morning.
(To be continued.)
I’m going to begin my story at Kairo, Egypt, where I got to see one of the great wonders of the world . . .
As we stepped off the plane, I began to think about how long ago my grandmother and I thought about this trip, and how long we had waited to get here. I also remembered my family and friends telling me that if I didn’t take pictures they would strangle me and hang me by my toes in the town square. Of course, they are all Christian people so I doubt they would carry that out.
Kairo, Egypt. We were walking out of the small airport with our luggage in hand when we saw them, blending together beautifully with the darkness, the lights of the city Kairo. We found our guide and the bus, loaded our luggage, then set off for the hotel.
The traffic was horrible! Everywhere you looked people were jammed together and not even using the lines on the road. It took us 45 minutes to get to our hotel, which was only 20 miles away. At first glance, you might think these people don’t care. Actually, it seemed like they never have to worry about murders, thieves or traffic accidents like we do all the time. This might be because there is a grave consequence for each crime…like losing a hand for theft or a head for murder. Anyway, we finally got to our hotel and settled down for a good night’s sleep.
The Pyramids. The following morning we were heading out to see the pyramids of an official and his wives. When we got there many tourists were gathered around to see the tomb and the Sphinx. The moment I saw both of these great wonders, I felt all the excitement was about to burst out of me all at once. I was hardly listening to the guide until he said we might be able to go inside one of them for a look at the actual tomb. I couldn’t believe my ears!
When my grandma asked if I wanted to go inside, I couldn’t control myself. I flung my arms around her neck. With a big hug, I said yes over and over just to let out my excitement (somewhat). Half the fun was that I would be able to brag about it when I got home.
After we got our tickets, we headed for the line of people near the tunnel entrance. We were in the front of the line before you could say “pyramids”. The ticket master ripped our tickets in half and gave them back. I stuck my two halves into my pocket, took a deep breath, then entered the shaft toward the tomb.
Inside it looked like a coal mine. On the ground there were boards with notches in them for grip. The air was so stale you could hardly breathe, and the deeper you went the worse it got. The shaft was so small that we had to crouch, to move through it at all. We went up, then down, then up again. The walk took only 5 minutes but it seemed like forever.
Finally, we walked into a larger room at least 20 times bigger than the shaft. On one side of the room there was a large tomb with the top taken off and leaning on the wall. I went over to look in side, with grandma following behind me.
When I got over there, trying to lighten up the mood, I pretended to die and fall into the stone box. One of the people from our group told me not to touch the tomb.
When I asked why he said that one of their myths was that if you touched the tomb, then you would be the next to die. I took my gaze from the stone to look at his face. As I suspected he had a very large grin about 2 feet wide. In the dim light, I felt uneasy. He looked scary without his hat on. He probably took it off because he is sweating. We all are. I thought as I looked away.
After a few moments of silence, I urged everyone in our group toward the exit. It was getting really hard to breathe. When we were walking back, I kept hitting my head on the ceiling. I guess it was because I was anxious to get fresh air. When we got out, the first thing you could hear was everyone breathing deeply. The second was the people shouting, laughing, and screaming.
The Sphinx. We all made our way back to the bus to see the Sphinx just around the bend. We didn’t have time to stop. So, the guide told the driver to slow down so that we could take pictures.
It was beautiful, even if it was old. My grandma gave me the camera because it was on my side of the bus. The sun was going down, blinding my sight, so I was shooting blind. (Later the photos turned out to be pretty good.) After everyone found his or her seats again, we headed off to the hotel. The rest of the night would be ours to do as we please.
Mt. Sinai. The next night at dinner the guide told those of us who wanted to go to Mt. Sinai that we had to get up at midnight and be at the bus stop. He also said that we would need to put on every scrap of clothing that we could. It would be cold. That night Grandma and I decided to go to bed early so we could get some rest before we had to get up again.
I woke up to the phone ringing off the hook. Of course, it was the wake up call. Grandma answered it and then hung up. As I started to wake up completely, I realized that Grandma was already up and mostly dressed. Fighting drowsiness and sleep, I yanked myself out of the warm covers and started to pull on some clothes. Scarves, hats, gloves - everything went on.
After we were done dressing, we walked over to the bus stop. No one was there - not even the bus. Thinking we were early Grandma checked the time. We were, by about 10 minutes. So, we decided to sit on the curb and wait for the others.
Finally, the bus and the others came and we loaded up. When we all got to the entrance of trail going up the mountain, it was very crowded with people who had come to see the sunrise from the top. We made our way to the line and began our waiting to enter the trail. When we got to the front of the line, there was a security metal detector and 3 guards. We had to go through one by one.
After we regrouped, we headed for the trail up Mt. Sinai. We had walked ½ a mile when we passed the monastery of St. Catharine. We had walked another ½ mile when we reached the stables for the camels. We paid for the rides, and got on the camels. We were all separated the whole ride up but we all knew where to meet.
Riding the camels was quite an experience. They are not the same as horses. But, they made our trip to the top of the mountain much easier. We could only go so far with the camels and then we had to leave them and walk the rest of the way. We weren’t going to ride them down because we had been told that it was much harder riding down than up.
After maybe 10 minutes of waiting, we headed to the top as a group. In the black darkness of early morning, we climbed with nothing more than a flashlight to guide our way. A few steep steps, a couple turns and we were at the top. Everyone split up to find a spot in the crowd to watch the sunrise.
It seemed like forever before it even seemed to get brighter. I was looking beyond the horizon wondering if this would be like all the other sunrises I’ve seen. Soon my question was answered. I kept looking beyond the mountains where I expected to see the rising sun. The sun was coming and we could tell as the sky got redder.
Just at the moment I least expected it, the sun came into view. It was not where I thought it would be. It seemed to come up in between the mountains; not on the other side. Everyone was trying to get pics as the sun rose within seconds.
In the end, everyone was satisfied. Our group met up at one of the shops and the guide brought all of us some cocoa or some coffee. I need to tell you the cocoa probably tasted just like the stuff at home but at the time it was the most delicious cocoa in the whole world!
We decided we would meet at the monastery at the bottom of the large mountain. Grandma and I tried to set off at a jog but the line of people seemed not to move at all. As soon as the road got bigger and had more traction, Grandma and I were passing everyone. When we met up at the bottom and loaded the bus, all of us let out a sigh of relief. It had been a long and exhausting morning.
(To be continued.)
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