Nikki: A Life Well Lived

“O Death, where is thy sting! O Grave, where is thy victory!” – I Corinthians 15:55

The dry, desert ground was hard, yet we persisted, using buckets of water to soften the clay. Even then our little grave was shallow. It seemed fitting that the burial of a loved one would be difficult…doubly so because our tears blurred our eyes. We gently lay the little body into the hole and covered him with the moist dirt. Dragging rocks from our rock pile, we mounded them over his resting place. Mikayla found some bricks to make a pretty border; telling me that she knew Leila would appreciate our care for her pup.

The other two dogs solemnly watched us work from the confines of the fence. They seemed to know that their pal was gone and wouldn’t be playing with them anymore.

That morning I had taken Mikayla to work at 6 a.m. When I got back home, I let Nikki out of his kennel and went to feed our puppies. Just beginning to waddle around, they attacked the dry food and gnawed it with their still-new teeth. Then I went inside to feed the three orphan kittens we had housed in our bathtub. By this time, it was about 7 a.m.

As I came outside again to begin my walk to the Cornerstone, I realized that the yard was silent. This usually meant that the dogs had found a way out and needed to be rounded up. I called for them and Angel and Galeo came bounding up the drive. I was sure that Nikki would be right behind them and I continued to call for him as I grabbed Angel’s leash to take her with me.

Since I wasn’t sure where they were getting out of the fence, I put Galeo into his kennel, put the leash on Angel, and started down the drive still calling and whistling for Nikki. Still no sign of a bouncing terrier. I began to feel a tightening in the pit of my stomach. I think that God was preparing my heart.

As we got to the end of the drive and started up the highway, I saw a little black and white bundle on the road. I didn’t want to get any closer. I already knew that it was Nikki. Worse…Leilani was at camp and I wasn’t sure that I could reach her. What was I going to tell her?

I remember when Leilani brought Nikki home. He was so tiny. A Chihuahua/Rat Terrier mix, he slept next to her bed and cried all night. She would get annoyed and shut him in the bathroom only to feel sorry for him after a few minutes and bring him up into her bed. From then on, whenever she was around, he was sure to be close.

He caught Parvo shortly before his first birth day. He was very sick. Leilani moved her mattress from her bed to our downstairs bedroom so that she could take care of him through the night and keep him quarantined from the other dogs. Every 2 hours she would wake up and feed him some Pedialite. She even convinced our next door neighbor, a vet tech, to give him an IV because the spoon-fed liquids were not doing the job. He was sick for a week; but, thanks to her diligence, he made it through.

He became the father of the first set of Jojo’s puppies. They were such cute puppies and they all found homes pretty quickly.

Now, he is gone.

I believe that God uses his creation to show us so many things about the life that He has for us. I know that God brought Nikki into our family to teach Leilani. Through his little, helpless life, he taught her about responsibility, accountability, patience and unconditional love. She had to take responsibility for a small life that could not sustain itself without her help to feed and care for him. She learned to be accountable for his behavior and training. While he was learning, she had to be patient, knowing that he did not speak her language or think like a human…instead, she had to think like a dog in order to be effective with her training. Through his unconditional love for her, she learned about God’s unconditional love for us. His unbridled enthusiasm when she came through the gate after being gone, mirrored God’s enthusiasm for us when we come to spend time with Him.

Today, Nikki is teaching us about death. We have loved; and we have lost; and now we grieve. In his own small way, he is teaching us to deal with the inevitable. As we walk through this time of grief over a little dog – such a miniscule moment in the whole scheme of life – we learn how to deal with loss on a grander scale. If we can turn to God in thanksgiving over a dog, we will be able to turn to Him over the loss of a child or a parent.

“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” - unknown

Leilani comes home at the end of the week. She will learn tonight that Nikki is gone. When she gets home, we will go through a new wave of grief as the rest of us rally around her to help her let go and move on to the next loved one that God will bring into her life.

My prayer today is that Ralph and I can teach her how to turn to the Greatest Comforter; how to be angry…and blame…and be sad…and forgive…and accept…and remember; how to be grateful for all of the sweet moments and life lessons that Nikki gave her; how to continue to risk loving even though loss and death will be a part of all such liaisons.

There is only victory in Death when we allow it to conquer us by holding us in the past or keeping us from loving again. There is only power in the Grave when we allow it to be our focus instead of the life well lived.

Thank you, God, for Nikki. His life was well lived. May the lessons You used him to teach be well learned.