The Darkness in Me

(My son, Aaron, has written a 'tune' to go with my words. I wrote this while thinking about how easy it is to fall into the trap of thinking that we have to be perfect in order to be forgiven. But God's Word says, "..while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.")



I smiled and said “hello”,
And shook her hand…again.
We sat and talked for hours
About how our days are spent.
But the deeper I don’t go
‘Cause I don’t want to show.
She must never see
The darkness … in me.

I listen to the sermon,
And not my head…again.
Sitting taking notes,
Letting it sink in.
The invitation comes and I don’t go
‘Cause I don’t want them to know.
They’ll never see
The darkness … in me.

(Chorus)
I wanna be great.
I wanna dream.
I wanna do something for eternity.
I keep pressing on
Hitting brick walls.
It’s the turmoil inside
That I’m trying to hide…
What keeps me from being free
Is the darkness … in me.

I kneel next to my bed,
Crying out in prayer…again.
Today’s the day
There will be no more pretend!
I pour out my heart to You,
‘Cause I know the Truth.
You alone can see
The darkness … in me.

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Pretending…
Pretending…
It’s never ending!
Lying…
Crying…
How can I keep on dying…inside?

(Chorus2)
I wanna be great.
I wanna dream.
I wanna do something for eternity.
I wanna press on.
Break thru the wall.
Calm the turmoil inside
So I no longer hide.
Lord, please set me free
From the darkness … in me.