The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller
We took over the dressing room at Marshalls. The three girls, their three friends and I were each trying on several dresses for Easter. I went first, since I dress the fastest and had the fewest to try on. As I came out of my little temporary cubby (why do the mirrors in those things seem to accuse rather than flatter?), I was greeted with “O, mom, you look great!” “You’re so pretty!” “Mom, I love that dress!” Gratified, in spite of my thickening waist and sagging muscles, I put my own clothes back on and settled in the midst of them to “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” their choices.
They each put on a dress and came out for my inspection. If they didn’t really like it at all, they didn’t even bother showing me. But if they thought it was cute, they were out modeling it for me in the bigger mirror. One by one, the dresses either brought out their beauty or squelched it. Elizabeth looked wonderful in the cream sun dress which accented her red hair. Anneliese looked beautiful in the silk brown and green print…although we needed to find a jacket or something for her bare shoulders; but not in the little black number that clung to every curve. Leilani looked wonderful in the soft browns of her sundress which accented her eyes and hair; but not in short purple number with spaghetti straps. A couple of times, one of them would come out wearing something “hoochie mama!” and we’d all give it a thumbs down. The dress might be pretty, but it accented the wrong kind of beauty.
Deanna found a beautiful green print that made her look taller and slenderer with extra blue eyes. Mikayla found several that would have been pretty, but didn’t do her justice and so she ended up without a dress rather than wear something that cheapened her beauty or made it seem base.
After leaving the store, we visited friends, looked in on my son, Adrian, and went to the movies. Our group of pretty girls made quite a sight going in and out of the mall. I observed, even if the girls didn’t, that heads turned and eyes flashed in our direction as we passed. It made me puff out my chest and lead boldly – proud of my beautiful entourage.
But what made these young ladies so pretty? It wasn’t the jeans and the tennis shoes. It wasn’t the make-up, because they were wearing little to none. When I got to thinking about it, it was the way they walked confidently, smiled and joked with each other, spoke politely to the sales clerks, talked amongst themselves about what they saw in the shop windows and the way that they were totally unaware of the beauty that seemed to envelop them like a cloud.
In so many ways, beauty is intangible. Sometimes the most beautiful of women can shatter that outward mask with a cynical word or sly look. If we think of beauty as something only visible with the human eye, then the adage “beauty is only skin deep” is true. However, if we realize that true beauty is not so much what is visible to the eye, but what is sensed in the soul, we then realize that what is on the outside is only a fraction of the story.
The next day, Deanna was up with me early in the morning giving me her schedule for the day. “After I go feed the horses for Bob, I’m going to go help Irene (the elderly lady next door) with her house work. I don’t want to get a job until I know how much longer she will need me.” Irene had come to me a couple of weeks ago and asked if Deanna would be willing to help her until she moved in with her sister. Deanna had been glad to go over several days a week to clean, help her walk, and exercise some after a back injury. It seems that Deanna is frequently in demand to help someone move, do yard work, dog sit, etc.
Later that day, one of my clients was telling me about Mikayla, who had recently been hired at one of the local restaurants. “She is so cute. She leaves us little notes everywhere,” she told me. “Notes?” I asked. “Yes. She leaves us notes saying ‘thank you’ or ‘I love working with you’ and stuff like that,” she replied. Mikayla is a natural encourager, but I didn’t realize that she would do something so sweet for her co-workers. That night, Mik told me a little about how her work was going and asked me to pray for some of her friends.
My mother used to tell me, ‘Beauty is as beauty does’. I think my daughters are beautiful because of what they do – help others, encourage their friends, pray for one another – even if it takes work or doesn’t yield immediate results. No one is perfect and my daughters aren’t always doing ‘beautiful’ things; but, overall, who they are inside is beautiful. Just as my mother encouraged me, I’m going to encourage my girls to focus on their true beauty and continue being pretty women.
1Pe 3:3 - 4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden being of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a humble and peaceable spirit, which is in the sight of God of great value.
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Gift of Your Presence
Yesterday I was having a great conversation with one of my clients. We were talking about our children and how fast they grow up. She is a young parent with one child and I was the older parent with three high schoolers and three grown children. One of the things that she said to me was: “I’m afraid that if it’s always just him and me, he will be so tired of me that he will not be able to wait to leave.” For a moment I was floored! Then I realized that I have a totally different perspective.
We’ve all heard the old adage: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” This may sound cute in relation to a couple who has been around each other so much that they are beginning to take each other for granted. Other than that, it is really the opposite that is true. The more time we spend with each other, the fonder of each other we become.
……………………………………………
We sat in my bedroom at the beginning of the day. We try to start the day with devotions and prayer, but today we were moving in slow motion. Deanna, my oldest daughter, asked me what my schedule was and I told her that I had to be at work by one o’clock.
“Mom,” Mikayla was whining a little, “you’re never home! And when you are at home, you’re not here!” She was really upset. “I want you to spend more time with us. I want to do something fun with you!”
“Honey, I am home a lot of the time.” My first instinct was to defend myself. “What do you mean, ‘when you’re home you’re not here’?”
“You’re on the computer or on the phone making appointments or something.” I knew that she was exaggerating a little and the word “never” was inserted in order to express her feelings – which were valid. So I tried to hear her heart.
For a few minutes I thought over the last couple of weeks. She was right in that I had been really busy with work, the coffee shop and the regular home management. We had been trying to catch up on laundry after our machine had been broken for a couple of weeks. We had also been making up for lost income and higher bills due to the “big freeze” recently. In other words, life had been happening.
“I have an idea.” I announced to all three girls. “Why don’t we all do something fun today. Let’s get our cowboy hats and boots on and go out to the overlook and just take some fun pictures.”
Suddenly the room lit up. All three of my daughters were suddenly excited. They rushed around upstairs for a few minutes getting the necessary props and putting on the “costumes” and then we were off. We spent the next hour and a half at the overlook just outside of town. The weather was perfect and the breeze was just enough to make some really cool pictures for our Facebook pages.
At the end of our photography session, we took the camera to the Cornerstone Coffee Shop where the girls proudly showed Dad. Our “girls day out” became the focus of conversation and comment amongst the family and several customers during the course of the day.
I had also realized something really important: my daughters needed and wanted my presence in their lives more often; that they needed my attention, my real presence, not just my body located at home. They really just wanted to spend time with me…doing something together. You’d think that in home educating, stuff like this would happen all of the time. Unfortunately, we get caught up in life, tasks and schoolwork; forgetting the time. We forget that only in quantity will we get quality.
I praise God every day that my children are fond of me. I’m so ecstatic that they want to spend time with me and think it is cool to hang out with mom. I’m glad that they tell me when they are missing that time with me and that they want more of it. I wish I could split myself into three sometimes so that that I could make sure that their time with me was enough.
Lord, give me the time I need for my kids. Show me how to spend more time with them. Help me to recognize when to set life aside and “gather my chicks” for a time of fellowship with them.
“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Eph 5:15, 16 (KJV)
We’ve all heard the old adage: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder!” This may sound cute in relation to a couple who has been around each other so much that they are beginning to take each other for granted. Other than that, it is really the opposite that is true. The more time we spend with each other, the fonder of each other we become.
……………………………………………
We sat in my bedroom at the beginning of the day. We try to start the day with devotions and prayer, but today we were moving in slow motion. Deanna, my oldest daughter, asked me what my schedule was and I told her that I had to be at work by one o’clock.
“Mom,” Mikayla was whining a little, “you’re never home! And when you are at home, you’re not here!” She was really upset. “I want you to spend more time with us. I want to do something fun with you!”
“Honey, I am home a lot of the time.” My first instinct was to defend myself. “What do you mean, ‘when you’re home you’re not here’?”
“You’re on the computer or on the phone making appointments or something.” I knew that she was exaggerating a little and the word “never” was inserted in order to express her feelings – which were valid. So I tried to hear her heart.
For a few minutes I thought over the last couple of weeks. She was right in that I had been really busy with work, the coffee shop and the regular home management. We had been trying to catch up on laundry after our machine had been broken for a couple of weeks. We had also been making up for lost income and higher bills due to the “big freeze” recently. In other words, life had been happening.
“I have an idea.” I announced to all three girls. “Why don’t we all do something fun today. Let’s get our cowboy hats and boots on and go out to the overlook and just take some fun pictures.”
Suddenly the room lit up. All three of my daughters were suddenly excited. They rushed around upstairs for a few minutes getting the necessary props and putting on the “costumes” and then we were off. We spent the next hour and a half at the overlook just outside of town. The weather was perfect and the breeze was just enough to make some really cool pictures for our Facebook pages.
At the end of our photography session, we took the camera to the Cornerstone Coffee Shop where the girls proudly showed Dad. Our “girls day out” became the focus of conversation and comment amongst the family and several customers during the course of the day.
I had also realized something really important: my daughters needed and wanted my presence in their lives more often; that they needed my attention, my real presence, not just my body located at home. They really just wanted to spend time with me…doing something together. You’d think that in home educating, stuff like this would happen all of the time. Unfortunately, we get caught up in life, tasks and schoolwork; forgetting the time. We forget that only in quantity will we get quality.
I praise God every day that my children are fond of me. I’m so ecstatic that they want to spend time with me and think it is cool to hang out with mom. I’m glad that they tell me when they are missing that time with me and that they want more of it. I wish I could split myself into three sometimes so that that I could make sure that their time with me was enough.
Lord, give me the time I need for my kids. Show me how to spend more time with them. Help me to recognize when to set life aside and “gather my chicks” for a time of fellowship with them.
“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Eph 5:15, 16 (KJV)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Better Homes
I’ve never had a Better Homes & Gardens home – except in my dreams, of course. Although I’ve always wanted my walls to sport stylish wall groupings and have pristine suede furniture, I’ve had to face the reality that it wouldn’t last long with all of the sports in the house and wrestling over the furniture.
Instead, my children have fond memories of a swing in the middle of the living room, a child’s plastic slide/gym touching the ceiling in our play room, hammocks in their bedrooms, and walls and walls of books stacked every which way as long as they fit. Just keeping everything somewhat picked up, semi-organized and clean was all I could do.
As they got older and I no longer had a daycare in my home, my husband and I talked about upgrading from yard-sale finds to almost-new stuff. But that idea went out of the window as our children were constantly bringing home live-in friends or stray dogs and cats. (Sigh!) Then our living room started masquerading as a classroom and our dining room became our science lab slash craft room.
Every once in a while, I’d get the urge to redecorate or do a makeover. Then for the next several weeks I’d be totally preoccupied with paint, molding, “accents”, etc. Additionally, to go with the new look, I’d have to clean, vacuum, dust, rearrange, and you-name-it for the next several weeks after that. It was during one of these times that I had a revelation…not, unfortunately, due to my own soul-searching.
This time my oldest daughter was sitting across from me in my bedroom with tears running down her cheeks. “Mom! You’re hardly ever home! And when you are home, you’re not really HERE! I feel like you’re leaving everything to me.” My first thought was that I was usually home and what did she mean ‘you’re not here’? As she explained, it dawned on me that being with my kids meant being with my kids. You know, focusing on them, listening to them, responding to them. What had happened was that I was putting how my home looked above the needs of my daughters. As a result, my oldest was feeling abandoned. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails. That was the end of my focused redecorating.
Now, when I get the urge to do a home makeover, I have to ask myself, “What is really going to matter in 10 years?” The wall groupings? The matching furniture? The laundry and ironing I got done? No. In 10 years, it will matter that I listened to my kids, came along side them in their challenges, and encouraged them in their goals. In 10 years, I may not even remember what color my kitchen curtains happened to be.
Instead, my children have fond memories of a swing in the middle of the living room, a child’s plastic slide/gym touching the ceiling in our play room, hammocks in their bedrooms, and walls and walls of books stacked every which way as long as they fit. Just keeping everything somewhat picked up, semi-organized and clean was all I could do.
As they got older and I no longer had a daycare in my home, my husband and I talked about upgrading from yard-sale finds to almost-new stuff. But that idea went out of the window as our children were constantly bringing home live-in friends or stray dogs and cats. (Sigh!) Then our living room started masquerading as a classroom and our dining room became our science lab slash craft room.
Every once in a while, I’d get the urge to redecorate or do a makeover. Then for the next several weeks I’d be totally preoccupied with paint, molding, “accents”, etc. Additionally, to go with the new look, I’d have to clean, vacuum, dust, rearrange, and you-name-it for the next several weeks after that. It was during one of these times that I had a revelation…not, unfortunately, due to my own soul-searching.
This time my oldest daughter was sitting across from me in my bedroom with tears running down her cheeks. “Mom! You’re hardly ever home! And when you are home, you’re not really HERE! I feel like you’re leaving everything to me.” My first thought was that I was usually home and what did she mean ‘you’re not here’? As she explained, it dawned on me that being with my kids meant being with my kids. You know, focusing on them, listening to them, responding to them. What had happened was that I was putting how my home looked above the needs of my daughters. As a result, my oldest was feeling abandoned. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails. That was the end of my focused redecorating.
Now, when I get the urge to do a home makeover, I have to ask myself, “What is really going to matter in 10 years?” The wall groupings? The matching furniture? The laundry and ironing I got done? No. In 10 years, it will matter that I listened to my kids, came along side them in their challenges, and encouraged them in their goals. In 10 years, I may not even remember what color my kitchen curtains happened to be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
