Pretty Women

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller


We took over the dressing room at Marshalls. The three girls, their three friends and I were each trying on several dresses for Easter. I went first, since I dress the fastest and had the fewest to try on. As I came out of my little temporary cubby (why do the mirrors in those things seem to accuse rather than flatter?), I was greeted with “O, mom, you look great!” “You’re so pretty!” “Mom, I love that dress!” Gratified, in spite of my thickening waist and sagging muscles, I put my own clothes back on and settled in the midst of them to “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” their choices.

They each put on a dress and came out for my inspection. If they didn’t really like it at all, they didn’t even bother showing me. But if they thought it was cute, they were out modeling it for me in the bigger mirror. One by one, the dresses either brought out their beauty or squelched it. Elizabeth looked wonderful in the cream sun dress which accented her red hair. Anneliese looked beautiful in the silk brown and green print…although we needed to find a jacket or something for her bare shoulders; but not in the little black number that clung to every curve. Leilani looked wonderful in the soft browns of her sundress which accented her eyes and hair; but not in short purple number with spaghetti straps. A couple of times, one of them would come out wearing something “hoochie mama!” and we’d all give it a thumbs down. The dress might be pretty, but it accented the wrong kind of beauty.

Deanna found a beautiful green print that made her look taller and slenderer with extra blue eyes. Mikayla found several that would have been pretty, but didn’t do her justice and so she ended up without a dress rather than wear something that cheapened her beauty or made it seem base.

After leaving the store, we visited friends, looked in on my son, Adrian, and went to the movies. Our group of pretty girls made quite a sight going in and out of the mall. I observed, even if the girls didn’t, that heads turned and eyes flashed in our direction as we passed. It made me puff out my chest and lead boldly – proud of my beautiful entourage.

But what made these young ladies so pretty? It wasn’t the jeans and the tennis shoes. It wasn’t the make-up, because they were wearing little to none. When I got to thinking about it, it was the way they walked confidently, smiled and joked with each other, spoke politely to the sales clerks, talked amongst themselves about what they saw in the shop windows and the way that they were totally unaware of the beauty that seemed to envelop them like a cloud.

In so many ways, beauty is intangible. Sometimes the most beautiful of women can shatter that outward mask with a cynical word or sly look. If we think of beauty as something only visible with the human eye, then the adage “beauty is only skin deep” is true. However, if we realize that true beauty is not so much what is visible to the eye, but what is sensed in the soul, we then realize that what is on the outside is only a fraction of the story.

The next day, Deanna was up with me early in the morning giving me her schedule for the day. “After I go feed the horses for Bob, I’m going to go help Irene (the elderly lady next door) with her house work. I don’t want to get a job until I know how much longer she will need me.” Irene had come to me a couple of weeks ago and asked if Deanna would be willing to help her until she moved in with her sister. Deanna had been glad to go over several days a week to clean, help her walk, and exercise some after a back injury. It seems that Deanna is frequently in demand to help someone move, do yard work, dog sit, etc.

Later that day, one of my clients was telling me about Mikayla, who had recently been hired at one of the local restaurants. “She is so cute. She leaves us little notes everywhere,” she told me. “Notes?” I asked. “Yes. She leaves us notes saying ‘thank you’ or ‘I love working with you’ and stuff like that,” she replied. Mikayla is a natural encourager, but I didn’t realize that she would do something so sweet for her co-workers. That night, Mik told me a little about how her work was going and asked me to pray for some of her friends.

My mother used to tell me, ‘Beauty is as beauty does’. I think my daughters are beautiful because of what they do – help others, encourage their friends, pray for one another – even if it takes work or doesn’t yield immediate results. No one is perfect and my daughters aren’t always doing ‘beautiful’ things; but, overall, who they are inside is beautiful. Just as my mother encouraged me, I’m going to encourage my girls to focus on their true beauty and continue being pretty women.

1Pe 3:3 - 4 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden being of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a humble and peaceable spirit, which is in the sight of God of great value.

The Beauty

The Beauty

“You see, every little girl and little boy is asking one fundamental question. Little girls want to know: Am I lovely?”
Captivating
by John & Stasi Eldrige

Deanna has always been a tomboy. She was the one who climbed trees, played in the mud, wore slacks, scorned dresses, fought the boys and fearlessly took on dares by her older brothers. For as long as I can remember, she has been competing with her brothers in everything…until recently. There was a day (I’m not sure exactly when) when she discovered that she had within her heart a beauty, a lovely young woman, that wanted to come out.

“Mom. Next time we go to El Paso, I want to find a dress. Dad wanted me to get a dress when he and I went together, but he doesn’t know the kind of thing I want. He kept picking out the “school girl” type dresses. I want a really pretty one,” she told me privately. “But you can’t tell him anything. I want to surprise him.”

I agreed and we went to Ross on our next trip. We didn’t have much time to spend and we didn’t find anything that time. She is fairly picky in what she wants with most things and this was no exception. She swore me to secrecy and we agreed to come again next time.

For the next couple of weeks she planned every detail: how she would curl her hair, what kind of hose she wanted, what kind of make up she wanted to have, how high the heels of the shoes would be, etc. She would talk these ideas over with me at every private opportunity and fantasize about how surprised her father and her friends at church would be. Her greatest goal was to be so different that no one would recognize her.

Our next trip came and we piled in the car. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to tell her sisters about her scheme, but she didn’t really have a choice since they had to come with us. During the drive down, she decided that they needed to know her plans and how important it was to for them to keep it a secret.

“Now, girls,” she spoke in her most serious tone, “I’m going to tell you something and you can’t tell anyone: not your friends, not anyone at church, and especially not Dad or the boys. I’m serious.”

They agreed and she told them about wanting to buy a pretty dress and dress up Sunday morning and shock everyone. They were just as excited about the scheme and wanted to get dresses, too.

We stopped at Ross and spent 3 hours picking out and trying on dresses. The dressing room attendants got to know them by name and were helping me to critique the outfits as the girls came out wearing them. Really, I had more fun watching them try things on than I ever did trying on anything myself.

By the time we were through, we had several dresses that fit the profile: good fit, pretty and inexpensive. Now I had to get permission from Dad to spend the money on them. Perfect. Mikayla and Leilani had given me the ideal excuse to make the request without giving away Deanna’s surprise. Of course, he said to go ahead and get them because they really needed some nice things for church. Deanna was SO excited as we checked out.

We were sleeping over at my mother’s house and the girls insisted on doing a fashion show for Grandma. Deanna’s dress was a hit as were the other girl’s outfits.

The next week Deanna prepared herself. She invited a friend over to share in her conspiracy and they spent several hours discussing it and imagining the reactions of various people.

“Mom! Can you put curlers in my hair tonight?” she asked anxiously that Saturday evening.

“I’ll do it while we watch a movie,” I told her.

“But won’t Dad be home?” she wanted to make sure that he knew nothing of her plans.

“I have a feeling that he will be late coming home tonight.” He had told me that he would be home at 9 p.m. but it was already 9:15 p.m. and I knew him well enough to know that he’d probably been caught up in some management issues.

The curlers went in, the plans for the next morning were set and we were ready to carry them out the next day.

While Dad made Sunday morning breakfast (pancakes, maple syrup, fruit and coffee), Deanna, Nicole and I worked on her hair and make up. She looked absolutely beautiful! She went to put on her dress, hose and shoes while I fixed my own hair and make up.

Now was the moment. She walked into the kitchen where Dad was cooking.

“Hi, Dad. What do you think?” she asked him. This was the moment of truth. This was the moment when she would know if she was really lovely; if she was truly pretty; if she was indeed The Beauty she had been imagining for the last month.

Ralph looked at her and then looked again. His jaw dropped. His eyes widened. Deanna was thrilled.

“You look beautiful!” he told her. “I’ll have to be very careful to protect you from the boys from now on. Wow!” He would repeat these words several times that day.

Her dreams had been fulfilled. She knew in her heart that she was indeed lovely. Her father had confirmed it without a doubt.

At church, she was the most beautiful girl in the youth group. Even her brothers were impressed with her loveliness. Not only that, but her father recruited his “Band of Brothers” to share in this moment in her life. He told them about seeing her enter the kitchen dressed up and asked them to join him in confirming her beauty, which they did gladly. I watched as the Pastor came up and told her how beautiful she was and how proud he was of her for dressing up like she did.

Something wonderful had happened in Deanna’s heart that morning. Her “question” had been answered with a resounding “Yes!” and her womanhood had been recognized. In the moment that her father had told her she was beautiful and that he was glad she was a beauty, she had grown into a young woman.

There will be other times that Deanna will ask that question and other times that it will be answered; but this is the foundation that had been laid – “Yes!” Some day, maybe tomorrow or maybe 10 years from now, she will ask that question of God. She will hear His answer: “Yes!”

I learned something important, too: as her mother, I can only help her to unveil her beauty; her father is the one who defines it and makes it real. As a picture of her Heavenly Father, her earthly father did a great job for this beauty.

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Psa 45:11 So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him.

May we, as mothers, help our daughters to reveal the beauty that they have within them – not just physically but within their characters. May their fathers take every opportunity to make the beauty that is revealed REAL.

Reflections from the Little House in the Tumbleweeds.