My son, Aaron, and his wife, Stephanie, have faced a few challenges in their fairly new marriage. I'm so glad that he has been willing to turn to the Lord in these times and gain new perspective by listening to the Holy Spirit. The world wants us to believe that new life only begins at birth, but we know, through the Word, that new life begins much sooner. Aaron and Stephanie acknowledge this and are blessed in their walk toward the Cross. What follows is their story:
STORY ABOUT OUR MISCARRIAGE:
So Steph had the miscarriage, but what followed the news was what was so encouraging.
Most dad's don't "own" their child until they get to hold her for the first time.The moment their eyes meet, he feels like a dad and waves of joy and responsibility wash over him like an overwhelming peaceful weight. Well, when Steph told me she was pregnant, I got excited and I bought a leather-bound journal and immediately started writing to the baby. I told her I was nervous and excited and told her the current gas prices, who is president, the cost of a candy bar, what her mother and I were preparing for so that she would be protected and loved the moment she arrived.
When we had the miscarriage and all of that shattered. I didn't realize I had withdrawn, until Stephanie expressed concern; but for three days I had disconnected from the rest of the family here. Steph and I had separated a bit and my relationships became business - getting jobs done. On the third evening, Steph told me to sit next to her on the bed. She said she feared that I hadn't cried a release of our baby and I was still holding on to it. I think deep down I knew I hadn't released her, but I didn't want to and I played it off as if she wasn't real, just a fetus and not a real person and that I was crazy to be excited over something so insignificant.
I sat with her and prayed. About 15 minutes passed and I was crying aloud, cradled in Stephanie's arms. (She is so loving!) I had helped her with her coping, but I hadn't paid much attention to me. Steph said that she would like it if we prayed for a release in our hearts, not a severance of our relationship with the baby, but a release of the pain of not having her here. Well we did, which spurred more tears. Steph said she had prayed earlier that week and asked God for her name, and He gave her "Alina," which means Bringer of Light. Well, we also prayed that The Lord Jesus would keep her safe and allow us to see her.
This is where the story gets good! I prayed those words, and Jesus put me in the presence of His Grace. I'm actually tearing up now writing this. I was standing in the throne room, where Alina sat in the throne, playing a life-sized cello. Her small child's hand struggled to press down the strings and move the bow at the same time. My logic kicked in and I couldn't know how she was holding it up, until I looked back behind her and the throne where Jesus stood over her, holding up the neck of the cello with one hand and resting the other on her shoulder. She was so beautiful.... is so beautiful. When I saw her playing this, she looked up and saw me. Her expression was one of complete and serene joy. She gave me a hug, in which I felt all the love I have never felt here on earth... the purest love. I bent down and felt so guilty because deep down I think I thought it was my fault (probably a hurt I need to face some day). She grieved in front of me, and I think she noticed my pain. She said not to worry about her, and that she would be waiting for me and her mother in heaven. She then got excited.
"Look at where I am, daddy," she said with her arms gesturing to the atmosphere, and I couldn't help but laugh.
"What?" Steph asked and I told her what I had seen. For about an hour or so, Steph and I cried and laughed together about the experience.
Most dad's don't get to own their baby until they carry her for the first time. I was a dad for only a short while, but I was a dad. When I see our three kids or however many God deems to give us, I will always see one more than what we have on earth. She really did bring light into our lives even though she was with us for just a short time...and she still does.
Stephanie feels closer to her mother now, since her mom had a miscarriage before as well. Stephanie and I grew more intimate together - able to reach places with each other we weren't reaching before. We have a testimony that I can tell men who have children, are about to have a child, or maybe even lost a loved one. I told this story at church one Sunday in front of the congregation. God touched quite a few men in the room by what I experienced. I remember a lady coming up to me and telling me that she couldn't remember the last time her husband cried, considering he's a "man's man," and dutiful men don't cry; but found himself asking her for the tissues on her other side.
We decided to keep the journal and keep writing to Alina anyway; and we have written to her since then. She seems to be our 'angel' we talk to when the going gets tough sometimes. We asked her to petition to God with us to protect this new baby (now that Steph is pregnant again), and that we miss her.
I love you, Alina, and your mother and I will see you someday.
_____
And now, Stephanie is pregnant again. I won't be stagnant and void of joyful emotion. I will take the gift our Lord Jesus gave us and be evermore excited about this baby, too. I bought a journal last night, and Steph and I wrote to the baby for the first time. I will be filled with joy and constantly pray for God's favor upon our lives, as He has been providing for us as long as I have released it to Him.
The moment you let it go (whatever trial that is), is the moment Jesus can pick it up. Wouldn't you rather he held the weight? After all, isn't that what He died for?
-Aaron
Love you guys and be praying for this pregnancy!
Showing posts with label salt and light. Show all posts
Showing posts with label salt and light. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Salt & Light?
Recently I became aware that there are some in our church that are adamantly against homeschooling because they feel strongly that Christian parents should send their children to the public school in order to be salt and light there. They believe that homeschooling is the wrong thing to do and have been very vocal about their opinion that our conviction (and other's convictions in our community) to homeschool our children is wrong.
I've been thinking about that a lot and asking God to give me some insight and reassurance about what we are doing. I just wanted to share some thoughts with you. So, this is just me unloading a little.
If a parent sends their children to Public School in order for their children to be salt and light, how are they preparing that child to do work that many adults find daunting? Some thoughts:
A child gets sent to school starting at age 5 or 6.
They spend 8 - 10 hours at school each day (if we count riding the bus and any after school activities). Sometimes more if they are teens.
After school, they spend 2 - 4 hours on school related homework (depending upon their grade).
If the parents work, they don't even see their child again until after 5 p.m. (maybe later depending upon the job).
This leaves the parents about 1 hour per day of time with their child. Hopefully they spend it around the dinner table or interacting in some way and not watching TV.
Usually this hour is spent in asking such things as: How was school today? Did you get your homework done? Do you need help with homework? Where are you going? When will you be back? When is the next school event? etc. I venture to suggest that this hour is NOT spent in the Word of God or talking about spiritual things.
However, there may be some time in passing or in occasional conversations that the parent is able to impart some important values or talk about spiritual matters. Let's say that that time might be 2 hours per week.
Then, if the child goes to Wed. night church, Sunday morning Sunday School and then Church; they get about 3 hours of spiritual training -- by the pastor or youth leader, NOT the parents.
So, in total, this means that the opportunity for spiritual training during the week for that child might be:
5 hours per week by 4 different adults (assuming that the child has 2 parents and we count the youth leader and pastor)
However:
They spend 40 - 50 hours per week at school where God is not even a part of the curriculum or teaching. In fact, the curriculum and teaching go AGAINST the Word of God most of the time.
They spend another 10 - 20 hours per week doing other school related homework or activities; most of which is secular humanist and anti-God in nature.
They have 8 - 16 (depending on grade) other adults who are mandated NOT to talk or teach about God or His Word at all in the school unless the child brings up the subject. In addition, many times these teachers are NOT Christians and will actively teach secular humanist and anti-God views in the classroom.
In addition, they have the influence of their peers, who are often NOT Christians (or if they are Christians, they are in the same boat) and are constantly pressuring the child to do things that are immoral -- whether that is lying, not completing assignments or having sex and doing drugs.
In conclusion:
On the Spiritual Training side of a Public Schooled child we have:
4 adults and 5 hours per week.
On the Secular Humanist, anti-God training side of a Public Schooled child we have: 8 - 16 adults and 40 - 50 hours per week.
A child has to be super human in order to counteract the influence of school and be any kind of salt and light at all. How many adults could stand up under this pressure? Many cannot and do not.
If any child is to be salt and light in any public school, his parents must be PURPOSEFUL and CONSISTENT in training him spiritually. In my mind, this would take many more hours than 1 or 2 per day. I would venture to say that many Christian parents do not even have a daily devotion with their families let alone purposefully train their children to evangelize or influence their school.
In light of the above, the statistics about Christian kids leaving the church after high school or college make total sense. So, in my opinion, to say that Christian kids should be sent to public school in order to be salt and light there is a totally ridiculous, irresponsible, and unreasonable expectation.
Also, consider:
20 years ago we knew about 4 VDs; today we have identified 26, 4 of which are fatal.
20 years ago homosexuality was a taboo subject that most teachers avoided; today kindergartners are being taught about Tommy and his 2 mommies or Sally and her 2 daddies and teens are being approached during lunch by members of the Gay Rights community offering to counsel them on their sexuality issues.
20 years ago students got suspended if they had a fight during school recess; today policemen are hired to protect teachers from their students, metal detectors are being used to detect weapons before kids enter the front doors and bomb threats are common place -- not to mention incidents like Columbine.
20 years ago if a student got drunk it was a bit of a scandal; today kids are considered "nerds" or "gay" if they don't have sex before their senior year, get drunk or high with their buddies on the weekends and "smoking pot" is fashionable.
20 years ago if a student back-talked a teacher or showed disrespect in the classroom, they were disciplined; today teachers and coaches don't think twice before cussing out a student or team member, foul language and disrespect in the classroom are commonplace and many students and teachers don't have any respect for the authority placed over them.
The Word of God tells parents that we are to raise our children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord". If we send them into that kind of environment, are we being obedient?
If a relationship with the Lord and godly character are the most important things in my child's education, we would be irresponsible Christian parents if we allowed the influence of the public school to be more than our own influence over our children for the Lord. May God continue to bless our efforts to instill these two important "subjects" into our children through homeschooling.
Based on the above and on my conversations with Terence (when he is around and I can talk to him), I regret allowing him to go to Van Horn High. However, he really wants to stick it out and he is trying to make a difference with several of his friends. Please be in prayer for him. The LEAST of his challenges is academics.
I've been thinking about that a lot and asking God to give me some insight and reassurance about what we are doing. I just wanted to share some thoughts with you. So, this is just me unloading a little.
If a parent sends their children to Public School in order for their children to be salt and light, how are they preparing that child to do work that many adults find daunting? Some thoughts:
A child gets sent to school starting at age 5 or 6.
They spend 8 - 10 hours at school each day (if we count riding the bus and any after school activities). Sometimes more if they are teens.
After school, they spend 2 - 4 hours on school related homework (depending upon their grade).
If the parents work, they don't even see their child again until after 5 p.m. (maybe later depending upon the job).
This leaves the parents about 1 hour per day of time with their child. Hopefully they spend it around the dinner table or interacting in some way and not watching TV.
Usually this hour is spent in asking such things as: How was school today? Did you get your homework done? Do you need help with homework? Where are you going? When will you be back? When is the next school event? etc. I venture to suggest that this hour is NOT spent in the Word of God or talking about spiritual things.
However, there may be some time in passing or in occasional conversations that the parent is able to impart some important values or talk about spiritual matters. Let's say that that time might be 2 hours per week.
Then, if the child goes to Wed. night church, Sunday morning Sunday School and then Church; they get about 3 hours of spiritual training -- by the pastor or youth leader, NOT the parents.
So, in total, this means that the opportunity for spiritual training during the week for that child might be:
5 hours per week by 4 different adults (assuming that the child has 2 parents and we count the youth leader and pastor)
However:
They spend 40 - 50 hours per week at school where God is not even a part of the curriculum or teaching. In fact, the curriculum and teaching go AGAINST the Word of God most of the time.
They spend another 10 - 20 hours per week doing other school related homework or activities; most of which is secular humanist and anti-God in nature.
They have 8 - 16 (depending on grade) other adults who are mandated NOT to talk or teach about God or His Word at all in the school unless the child brings up the subject. In addition, many times these teachers are NOT Christians and will actively teach secular humanist and anti-God views in the classroom.
In addition, they have the influence of their peers, who are often NOT Christians (or if they are Christians, they are in the same boat) and are constantly pressuring the child to do things that are immoral -- whether that is lying, not completing assignments or having sex and doing drugs.
In conclusion:
On the Spiritual Training side of a Public Schooled child we have:
4 adults and 5 hours per week.
On the Secular Humanist, anti-God training side of a Public Schooled child we have: 8 - 16 adults and 40 - 50 hours per week.
A child has to be super human in order to counteract the influence of school and be any kind of salt and light at all. How many adults could stand up under this pressure? Many cannot and do not.
If any child is to be salt and light in any public school, his parents must be PURPOSEFUL and CONSISTENT in training him spiritually. In my mind, this would take many more hours than 1 or 2 per day. I would venture to say that many Christian parents do not even have a daily devotion with their families let alone purposefully train their children to evangelize or influence their school.
In light of the above, the statistics about Christian kids leaving the church after high school or college make total sense. So, in my opinion, to say that Christian kids should be sent to public school in order to be salt and light there is a totally ridiculous, irresponsible, and unreasonable expectation.
Also, consider:
20 years ago we knew about 4 VDs; today we have identified 26, 4 of which are fatal.
20 years ago homosexuality was a taboo subject that most teachers avoided; today kindergartners are being taught about Tommy and his 2 mommies or Sally and her 2 daddies and teens are being approached during lunch by members of the Gay Rights community offering to counsel them on their sexuality issues.
20 years ago students got suspended if they had a fight during school recess; today policemen are hired to protect teachers from their students, metal detectors are being used to detect weapons before kids enter the front doors and bomb threats are common place -- not to mention incidents like Columbine.
20 years ago if a student got drunk it was a bit of a scandal; today kids are considered "nerds" or "gay" if they don't have sex before their senior year, get drunk or high with their buddies on the weekends and "smoking pot" is fashionable.
20 years ago if a student back-talked a teacher or showed disrespect in the classroom, they were disciplined; today teachers and coaches don't think twice before cussing out a student or team member, foul language and disrespect in the classroom are commonplace and many students and teachers don't have any respect for the authority placed over them.
The Word of God tells parents that we are to raise our children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord". If we send them into that kind of environment, are we being obedient?
If a relationship with the Lord and godly character are the most important things in my child's education, we would be irresponsible Christian parents if we allowed the influence of the public school to be more than our own influence over our children for the Lord. May God continue to bless our efforts to instill these two important "subjects" into our children through homeschooling.
Based on the above and on my conversations with Terence (when he is around and I can talk to him), I regret allowing him to go to Van Horn High. However, he really wants to stick it out and he is trying to make a difference with several of his friends. Please be in prayer for him. The LEAST of his challenges is academics.
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