The Princess & the Field

Football is made up of all kinds of conflict. In a dressing room, between players, between us and the manager, between us and loads of people who don't seem to matter. It's constant and harsh sometimes.--  Wayne Rooney 

I think I realize now why so many fairy tales involve a King locking up his princess in the castle.  Not so much because of ‘Prince Charming’, but because he just doesn't want to see her leave!  Ralph & I have had a much more difficult time seeing our oldest daughter, Deanna, move out and try the world on  her own than we did any of our three boys.  We all miss her being here to tease and talk to.  It’s all we can do to keep from calling her every day just to hear how her day is going.

It used to be that our house was frequently filled with children of all ages.  When my youngest was 2 or 3, it was not unusual for us to have 14 or 15 children over for dinner (everyone had to have a friend or two if the others did).  In fact, at that time we lived with another family who had four children.  Then our babies got older and we had a house full of teenagers every weekend – playing Xbox tournaments, jumping on the trampoline or watching a movie.

Now, our world is getting smaller and much less complicated – and empty!  (Instead of 14, we have only 5 or 6.) We watch our children leave the nest one by one and plunge  into the icy waters of the real world hoping that we have taught them enough to keep them afloat; or better yet, to swim successfully.  Needless to say, it’s nerve-wracking!

This season feels a little bit like we are watching our children’s world from the sidelines; cheering on a favorite football team from the nose-bleed section of the bleachers.  Our cheers and directives are loud in our own ears but we aren't really sure if the players can even distinguish us from the others in the crowd.  Occasionally, we will hear a comment from the referees or the commentators about how our daughter is doing, but we are no longer welcome on the field.

Then one day, we get a call and are invited into the locker room:

“Mom!” her voice sounded a little shaky on the phone.

“Hey!  Honey, what’s up?” I tried to sound casual.

“Not much.” I could tell that she really meant ‘Too much!’

“Ok. Talk to me.  You can tell me anything.” I told her, trying to reassure her.

“Mom!  I feel like my whole life is falling apart!  I can’t find a job, this next test is hard, and there is this boy…” she began to cry into the phone.

My heart broke and I started to cry, too.  At that moment, I realized both what I must have put my own mother through and that parenting doesn't end when the bird leaves the nest.  I wanted to go and put my pads on and dust off my helmet and cleats and go into the field over my daughter.  I wanted to tackle to the ground all of the players that were causing her grief – especially that boy!!!

However, the only thing I could do was listen…and cry…and pray.  As I listened to her pour out her grief, the Lord spoke to me.  He gave me the words to remind her that He was there, too.  Jesus’ heart was breaking, too; and He wanted to comfort her and help her and go to battle for her, too.   As we prayed together over the phone, God comforted both of us.  He reminded us that He was in our midst fighting, shielding, and loving – if only we were willing to stay within His circle.

I tried to get out all of the words that my heart was crying.  That she was a child of the King…that she was worthy of the best…that she only had to stay close to Jesus so that He could protect her.  Those icy waters of the real world are brutal and her only hope was to cling to the One who could pull her through.

After we hung up, I was still teary eyed.  God still had to work on my heart to trust Him with my daughter.  I don’t know why I think that I should be able to do a better job than the Creator of the Universe, but I do.  I’d even told Deanna that she should come home for a while – so that I could protect her.  Why is it so hard to trust the King!?

When I checked my e-mail the next day, she had sent me a note.  “Thanks for staying up and talking with me, Mom.  I didn't realize how much I needed my mom till I moved out.  I really love you.”

I don’t know if all is resolved.  I think that the game is still going on and I am again in the stands watching my princess execute the next play on the field.  The only thing I can do is pray and ask God to show me where He is on the green; to show me where He is working in Deanna’s life; to comfort us both as we go forward into this next unknown season of our existence; to reassure us that He is there every step of the way.

Luke 18:27  And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

Rom 8:38,39  For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,  Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.